


I Love You Anyway

by Catkodil



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Deaf Character, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Hispanic Character, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Muteness, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Trans Male Character, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2019-05-26 05:24:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 27,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14993732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catkodil/pseuds/Catkodil
Summary: Tom is a sixteen-year-old deaf high-school student. Constantly out of place and harassed, he meets someone who might just bring a little light into his hell.





	1. "Forced Poetry"

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, Catkodil here. The main creator; for all the new readers-- 
> 
> I've been a fan of Eddsworld since 2010. The characters are more based on the original series; none of the characters are perfect. They have flaws; they are human. There are no villains, no superheros. It just high-schoolers trying to figure themselves out.
> 
> They are not "soft", they are boys. And they act like how they are; rebellious teenage boys.
> 
> have fun :)

_“The hospital, where the sheets are freezing and the air is cold and dry. Where the lights are overwhelmingly bright and the machines are pestering and unbearably annoying,_ _The constant high pitched beeping that always seemed to be at the same pace. The hospital is where sad smiles are, concerned eyes and gentle but painful touches._

_Where you are deprived of a careful embrace and comfort._

**_This is where I lost my parents._ ** ”

 

Tom finished writing his poem, looking up at the teacher before handing it to him.

The man's rough and thick hand and swiped it from him.

A rather disdainful expression painted his face as he gritted his teeth.

“For taking half an hour this better be good.”

He snarled before heading back to his desk.

 

Tom pretended that he couldn't read the man's lips and looked back at his desk.

 

Tom, Tommy B. Ridgefield.

 

A young man, around the age of sixteen. A grade A student, a boy with tan skin. A teenager with thick black shades over his eyes and hair that was styled upright in an almost comical fashion.

He wore a hoodie his new family gave him, a navy blue hoodie with an Alien patch.

 

  
He just stared at the school clock, taking a moment read it through his blurry black eyes.

 

3:15 pm

 

That meant, 5 more minutes 3 times. Then he was free.  
His foot bounced, placing his higher foot against the ground and his heel going up and down in an almost practiced manner.

 

This continued until the boy wearing a red hoodie sitting by him pounded on the table and shouted at him to stop.

 

Tom couldn't hear what he had said but obeyed, his foot setting flat on the floor before starting to tap at the desk with his pencil.

 

The boy sitting by him just groaned and put his head down in defeat.

 

Tom was so focused on watching the clock that he didn't notice that it was time.

The bell ringing and everyone ran out of their seats, bumping into Tom which just then realized it was time to go.

 

He grabbed his space-themed backpack and pulled it over his shoulder to head on home.

 

The walk was silent, everything was for him.

 

If he did hear anything,  it was muffled and quiet, inaudible and indistinguishable.

 

Before Tom knew it, he awoke the next morning.

Being shaken awake with the vibrating alarm that was on his phone, in his pocket like it usually was.

 

Tom was wearing his usual tank top and pants before throwing his navy blue jacket over.

He went back to his nightstand and grabbed the pair of midnight black shades.

 

He took note of the reflection that shone across them when the morning sun that spread it's light through the window as if it was just another, boring day.

 

Tom grabbed his backpack that waited at the door, picking it up then grabbing his Bass, Susan.

He would stop to examine each sticker, each charm, and scratch on his beloved darling but was interrupted when his phone went off again.

 

He needed to hurry.

 

Tom put the strap around him, then put on his backpack before heading out. Grabbing a blueberry pop tart from the counter before heading off to class.

 

When the boy reached the campus he took a moment to gaze upon it.

It was clean, freshly painted green and purple. To be specific, Teal green and a dark violet. Tom took a liking to those colors, especially the green but he liked the lighter and more vibrant shade of it.

 

Tom hadn't noticed but he'd been starting off and the bell had rung.

Some kids were such in a rush they'd bumped into him, causing tom to stumble but get back on his feet. The boy ran to his class, just then realizing he was late.

 

He ran to his class, going to his math teacher trying to apologize but cut off.

“Shades off in the classroom”

Tom froze, his eyes going wide.

He had gotten a freak accident during surgery. They couldn't explain why but his pupil had multiplied and taken up the entire surface of his eyes.

 

He looked down before taking them off and heading to his desk.

 

He could see the rising shoulders and covered mouths.

 

They were laughing at him.

 

He put his head down and covered himself with his arms. He was always insecure about his body.

His Puerto Rican skin and light brown hair he gelled every day, along with the monthly bleaching. His thin fragile frame and a large amount of body hair on his arms and chest. His thick full lips and the clipped eyebrow on his left temple.

 

He slowly looked up at Mr.Smith who was explaining some bullshit on geometry. Or something to do with shapes and numbers.

 

He pulled out a piece of paper, pretending to write notes as he grabbed his pencil from his bag and began to scribble down what was in his mind.

 

 

  * __“Control is about as real as a one-legged unicorn taking a piss off the edge of a double rainbow, then what do we have?”__


  * _“If we dream of anything, then isn't life just an uncontrollable dream?”_


  * _“If being human is acting a certain way, then why aren't we allowed to be the animals we are?”_


  * _“Why does society ruin itself?”_



 

 

He stopped as he felt somebody tap his shoulder. He raised an eyebrow but his confusion went away as the person handed him a folded up piece of paper.

 

He carefully opened up the small lined sheet.

There was writing in a pink gel pen. Obviously, written by a feminine individual due to the circles for dots and the curvy lines.

 

_“Hey where you from? Chernobyl?_

_Sure looks like it! You just need to lose that ugly color on your skin!”_

 

Tom crumpled up the paper and shoved it into his bag to burn later. The dark-skinned  British male with the shade of caramel as skin went back to his paper.

 

 

  * __“I wish we knew when we were in the good ol days, before we've already left them”__


  * _“what's the point of sleeping when we live the same life over and over again”_


  * _“why are we afraid of change when we celebrate it in history? “_



 

 

 

  * __“you know when people say, when you fall you gotta get up! I reject that shit. The whole thing is a fall”__



 

 

Tom's writing was interrupted by a boy sitting by him, Tom caught a glance of his green sleeve before looking up at the teacher. His lips were reading in annoyance; “Thomas, how do you measure perimeter on a square?”

 

“by the given number and multiplying it by four”

His voice was quiet, fearful before getting a sense golf courage. The boy sat up with a slight smug grin.

“Why'd you ask? Don't know yourself?”

 

“Principal's  office!”

“say that again, I can't _hear_ you!”

 

“Go!”

The man with wild brown hair and baggy eyes pointed at the door, his eyes narrowed in anger and his hand was shaking with fury.

 

Tom grabbed his bag and swung it over his shoulder before gathering his papers, stuffing them into his hoodie pocket.


	2. "Okay, that wasn't ok"

It was probably a bad idea to sass the Mr. Smith, but at the moment Tom didn’t really care. Or, so he thought, honestly he didn’t know what he was thinking but there was no taking it back now that he was sent to the Principal’s office. 

 

He kept quiet as he walked to his ‘doom’, looking around with half-lidded eyes. He put his shades back on the moment he was out the door, feeling better with them on while in the school. 

 

While he couldn’t hear it, he knew that his classmates were laughing at him or at the very least gossipping about him behind his back as he left. How the ‘deaf’, ‘freak’ boy got in trouble in the very short time he’d been in the school. Oh, and let’s not forget his dear ‘orphan’ status…

 

Tom sighed, his foster parents were probably going to be  _ very _ disappointed in him, getting into trouble so soon in his new school year… It wasn’t his fault! Or well, okay,  _ yeah _ he  _ did _ sass his Math teacher but he was being a bloody prick! 

 

Though the black-eyed teen knew that the principal wouldn’t accept that answer. 

And he was right. 

 

Maintaining a deadpanned and almost bored look, he ‘listened’ to what his principal, a woman named Ms. Monroe, had to say. Hilarious. Anyway, he read the principal’s lips. 

 

“Mr. Ridgefield.” She started, pausing as if to think a bit, “Tom,” She amended, like using his first name would make any difference, “It’s only been a day and you’ve been sent to my office. What happened?” She asked. 

 

Tom shrugged, “Mr. Smith sent me here after I answered his question.” He answered truthfully. Ms. Monroe gave him a look and he sighed, “I may have, sassed him a bit.” He admitted begrudgingly, “But only because he was being a prick.” 

 

The principal shook her head, looking disappointed. It didn’t really affect him but he knew that later on the same disappointed look would appear on his foster parents’ faces and that made him squirm a bit in his seat.

 

Ms. Monroe sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose, “Thomas. You have to treat your teachers with respect, treating them with such disrespect won’t help you.” She told him, “Look, I know you’re going through a hard time Mr. Ridgefield, so I will only let you off with a warning. Next time I won’t be as lenient.” She warned looking stern but also sympathetic. Tom had to grumble but he faintly wondered on why she thinks using all facets of his name would help or why she even did that.

 

“I’ll be informing your foster guardians about today.” 

 

Tom sat straighter, oh no, they’d give him that disappointed look and make him feel so  _ guilty _ . “You may go now Mr. Ridgefield,” Ms. Monroe dismissed him, he wondered if he could convince her to  _ not _ tell them… Nope, it wouldn’t work. 

 

He sighed and took his backpack, leaving her office. 

 

Tom looked at the clock as he left, he contemplated on ditching the rest of class and school but frowned. That would just make his foster parents be disappointed more and they were good people, he actually kind of liked them. 

 

Huffing, he took out one of his papers and briefly read over the last thing he wrote before Mr. Smith sent him out. 

 

 

  * __“_ _Why do we send out our children to the world like men to war?”__



 

 

It was a tough and tempting decision, ditch now and avoid even more bullshit that might happen in the school but risk disappointing his guardians even more? Or don’t ditch, deal and endure whatever bullshit that might happen and not disappoint them even more?

 

With another sigh, he stuffed the paper back into his pocket and hung his head. No, he couldn’t ditch. Not only would it upset his parents, it would waste their money since they were paying for his education which he did need if he needed to get a job in the future. 

 

Attend school and endure the bullshit it is. 

 

With that resolved, he headed towards his next class. 

 

If he recalled, Science was suppose to be his next period. He checked the time, he’d be early if he showed up now. He shrugged before slowly heading towards the class, wondering if the teacher would be as much of a prick as Mr. Smith. He didn’t get his hopes up for the other way around.

 

Tom arrived just 5 minutes before his class would start, so he waited and leaned against the wall. 

 

The black-eyed teen was briefly lost in his thoughts before he was broken out of them when he noticed students pouring out of the Science room. They gave him nasty looks and glances.

 

Tom ignored them as he headed inside, sitting at a random desk and putting down his bag. 

 

His Science teacher was a woman, and if he remembered correctly her name was Ms. Joy. Hopefully she’d let him wear his shades for the rest of the class. 

 

The other classmates started to come in not long after, some he could vaguely recognize from Math with Mr.Smith. Like the boy in the red hood, he remembered him, and clearly Red recognized him by the annoyed scowl he had on his face. The brit couldn’t help it, he sent Red a cheeky smug-filled grin. Red, he really needs to learn the other’s name or then again maybe not, clearly sees it and his scowl deepens. 

 

The space loving kid could tell they were going to get along  _ just fine _ . Hah, sarcasm. 

 

At any rate, the classroom fills with students and he glances around from underneath his shades. Yup, they were gossipping. He catches a few staring at him, to which he ignores and starts to just pull his papers out to either take notes or something. 

 

Thankfully, Ms. Joy doesn’t seem to mind the fact he wore his shades during her class. Though he could see the disdain in her eyes, well as long as she left him alone…

 

He spent the rest of Science taking notes and ignoring the bullcrap they called conversations between his classmates. He was handed a few pieces of paper that were similar to what he got during Math and like before, he crumples them and saves them to burn later.

The brunette’s attention snapped at the board when a student next to him harshfully nudged him in the arm.

What the hell?


	3. "Better dead than red!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! It's me, the author of this chapter, HelmetParty here on the AO3. This is the only chapter I have written, and I do hope you enjoy it! However I have decided to remove myself as author because I simply do not, nor will not, have time to fulfill any other chapters in the reasonable future. If I do happen to complete any further chapters, you will know with an authors note, though it is unlikely. Reason being I simply am too preoccupied with my own series, along with real life ailments that prevent me from continuing within a decent time frame. My best wishes to my fellow authors of this fic, and good luck!

Its Red. That kid that Tom still doesn’t know the name of.

 

“Your glasses piss me off,” he says. Tom reads his lips, but he almost wishes he hasn’t.

“I-” Tom mutters, but he really can’t think of something to say. He should be offeneded, this is that asshole kid who constantly is a nuisance; but he really can’t be. That comment is out of nowhere and absolutely straight forward. It’s almost respectable.

“Cool,” he goes for instead. “Thats cool.”

Red huffs and rolls his eyes. “Why don’t you take them off?”

Tom really is flabbergasted.

“Hold on, let me think...oh yeah, that really is  _ none of your business _ .”

The kid gives another nasty look, but he doesn’t comment this time. He puts his arm on the table to rest his head and looks directly into Tom’s eyes.

“You speak well for a deaf kid” he says, no hint of empathy or any  _ pathy  _ for that matter, other than, perhaps, apathy. This is something that people say often to Tom, when they aren’t making fun of him that is.

“Thanks,” he goes for. It’s no use to try and tell him why that was offensive, clearly this kid doesn’t care. And it’s not like Tom really wants the conversation, especially with someone so diligent on being a fucking asshole.

Red huffs. “You’re a weird one, aren’t you? What are you writing?” 

Tom’s papers we’re an unorganized mess between actual notes, which themselves were limited and sporadic, and his own thoughts, which looked too much like song lyrics from the 80’s. Tom almost immediately tries to cover these up, attempting to put them into a pile face down.

Red is able to snatch one from the pile, and Tom reaches for it.

 

“Tom! Tord!” Ms. Joy hisses, and as Red turns, so does Tom. 

 

Tom says nothing, and faces back forward. Red laughs to himself, putting the paper in front of him. It takes only a few seconds before the class heads back to normal, and Tom looks back to Red.

“‘ _ The only thing that is absolutely unbearable is that nothing is unbearable’ _ ?” 

Tord stifled back a laugh, and Tom almost dies of embarrassment in his seat, right there. God knows that would likely be better.

 

“Just-” Tom hisses, doing his best to not walk right out of the class in that moment. 

“Where do you think you get off being such an  _ asshole _ ?” 

Red laughs again. “I mostly get off at home.”

 

The bell rings. Tom can hear this faintly, and he gets up almost instantly. He packs whatever he had on his desk into his bag without a care in the world. A hand grabs him from leaving, however, and Tom turns.

 

“My name is Tord, by the way. Don’t forget it.”

 

Tom kicks Tord’s hand from his jacket and races to the door to leave. He is the first one out, however, is quickly lost in the merging of classes and students almost stampeding to their next class.

 

English goes the same way, mostly. Just without Tord which was an added plus. The entire time he doodles on his papers and writes down whatever comes to mind. Why should he pay attention in a class that he already speaks the language of? That seemed a little redundant, even for him. Did people from other countries have to take their language? Did Russians have to take Russian? What about, lets see, Norwegians? Even though it was unlike Tom to get caught up in petty things like this, he spends most of the class pondering it. When the bell rings, he's almost surprised that time had flew by this quickly.

Then his generally fine mood is changed when he realizes PE is next.

 

God, PE. Just kill him now.

 

Tom hated gym for plenty of reasons. It was mostly that  _ everyone is a raging asshole _ . He was, albeit cliche, picked last anytime group activities we’re permitted. Most of the time, thankfully, he was allowed to sit on the bleachers to do nothing. However, on days like today (which was kickball) he was forced to participate. 

 

And this means that hell will likely ensue. 

 

Tom almost considers walking out, right now, but hey. Band class was going to be fun, right? At least there he could just chill out and play some music. He liked to feel the vibration of his instrument.

 

Then there was the matter of his parents, who would be upset when he came home.

 

He had to suffer through this, at least. It's not even half a day left.

 

He decides to do this. It would be fine. 

 

Most likely.

 

Probably not.


	4. "Nya!"

Kickball was usually pretty loud and violent, Tom wasn't really allowed to play. He couldn't hear the whistle or the nearby vicious attacks so he was usually sat out on the bench out in the sun.

 

Yet when he was in the dressing room, having to change into his PE uniform quickly. He knew people always stared at the scars across his back, the fire and glass leaving a piece of abstract wounds.

 

Some kids would pity him, their usual tired expressions always switching to melancholy. So he ran off to the bathroom to change, noticing that rather overweight brunette who was doing the same.

 

He could understand, insecurities. Body deformities. Tom definitely understood that. Always hiding his eyes away from the others, his eyes were terrifying to most. Even the teachers.

 

Except for his English teacher who was half blind. That man really didn't give a fuck about anything anymore. Tom swore that he smelled alcohol in his water bottle.

 

He put on the dark green and white outfit before stepping out. Keeping his glasses back on since he told Patryck, his coach that he needed them to see.

 

Tom loved the soft fabric of the basketball shorts, loose but secure around the waist. He wouldn't have to worry about being stuffy and his still healing damages could breathe as well.

But as he stepped outside into the blistering sun, he immediately regretted not buying a bottle of sunscreen. Even if he didn't burn that easy, it still made his skin dry and irritated.

  
  


The colored male slowly made his way to the field where his class would meet, the obviously gay coach immediately approaching Tom with a hasty grin.

 

“Tom! Alright buddy, we have a new kid in our class so he'll be sitting out okay? I want you to sit with him, you do know ASL right?”

 

Tom took a moment before making the 'ehh’ gesture by tilting his head and flattening out his hand that would rock slightly.

 

With that Patryck sent him off the the sun heated metal benches. Despite being told to socialize, he didn't. He saw the pale boy with big cheeks and tired eyes and decided to sit in the small row.

 

The gigantic star in the sky was beating down on him mercilessly. Now he definitely had a second thought about having so much hair. The sweat that rolled down the side of his face was laced with diluted gel making his skin sticky and itchy.

 

As he carefully scratched at slimy substance on his jaw he was tapped on his shoulder, very carefully. As if the person was scared of annoying or hurting him.

 

He failed at both, his shoulders still recovering from the impact and the slight fractures. He needed surgery but couldn't afford it. Thankfully, it wasn't that serious so maybe actually going to psychical therapy could help. 

 

The colored haired male turned around to face the earlier mentioned boy, who just waved hello. Not saying anything, that peeked Tom's interest. Somebody at this school was actually quiet? Wow!

 

Tom instantly turned around his whole body to face the supposedly shy male, greeting him back with a small smile and a shrug.

 

The boy just shrugged back at him, grinning more.

 

This became a game, the boys exaggerating with each number of shrugs at each other until Tom ended up pulling something in his shoulder.

 

Tom instinctively stiffened up and groaned softly as he rubbed at the sore area on his lower neck. The boy, who had been messing with immediately apologized with his hands before examining the now exposed skin due to Tom pulling it down.

 

He was alright, no visible damage other than the scars from the life changing event that caused numerous nightmares in his sleep and wake.

 

Tom just fixed his shirt before facing the assumed goofy male.

 

He was instantly spoken too, the marshmallow boy slowly talking for him with his hands and mouth.

 

'Are you okay?’

 

Tom nodded in response before rubbing the back of his neck.

“I can talk dude”

 

The boy just silently laughed before replying.

 

'cool I can't, I'm Edd by the way’

 

“Uhh, I don't know sign language very well, could you spell that out?”

 

Edd did so, grateful that he had a short name.

 

“Oh your name is Edd! I'm Tom, nice to meet you”

Tom greeted with a tight lipped smile but Edd just nodded. Thinking before sighing and looking down.

 

God he wish he had his phone today-

 

There was a loud, high pitched sound above Edd’s head, Tom had shot up and deflected the ball away and instantly grimaced due to the now rawness on his palm.

 

“Fuck!” Tom cursed, having the right to be upset so he wasn't yelled at by his coach.

 

“Oh- sorry!” A familiar voiced male replied, immediately running off to go catched the said ball.

 

Edd was ultimately shocked, his chestnut eyebrows raised in surprise but instantly locked on Tom who was gently caressing his hand.

 

But their silent moment was ruined by Patryck rushing over, already getting out the first aid kit but Tom just denied his assistance.

“It's okay coach”

 

He was shot with a questioning expression but he obeyed and shook his head, patting the plastic red box that was now placed next to Tom. The adult running off back to his class.

However Edd’s concerned gaze was still on him. He'd heard of the Tom's past. The boy who had spent a year in the hospital, then in a mental ward for examination. At least that's what the rumors were.

 

“So you're a mute… that's gotta suck. I guess you can't have the last word huh?”

Tom teased playfully, nudging Edd with his elbow to only get him to roll his eyes.

 

“I guess, the cat's always got your tongue!”

 

The mute replied by sticking out his tongue.

 

“Nevermind! It's right there. Unless you are a cat”

 

He replied with a 'nya’ closing his eyes, tilting his head and flicking his wrist playfully.

 

“No- no stop”

 

Edd repeated it, Tom angrily but jokingly pulled his hand back down. In attempt to stop the cringe.

 

“Noo!”

He whined but Edd just grinned mischievously before sticking out his tongue again. Tom just gave in and groaned in defeat.


	5. "Sincerely, you"

Their uplifting moment was interrupted by the whistling that gave away the ending of class. Meaning back to the locker room where the disgusting scent of sweat and hormones was the only prominent smell.

 

Tom did the usual, scurrying off into the bathroom where he switched on his dark Navy blue hoodie and grey jeans. He wasn't really one for fashion, too lazy. And cheap.

 

He was lagging behind due to the struggle of getting his pants on, his legs still laced with sweat from the unbearable sun. And once he got those on, his face was still sticky so he ran to the sink to wash his face.

 

As he carefully placed his shades on the flat portion of the stained porcelain sink he found himself struggling to scrub the itchy portion of his features. Mostly due to the gel in his hair that was easily watered down.

 

This became a whole shower; Tom washing his hair out completely before drying it off with numerous paper towels to only realize he was alone in the locker room.

 

“Fuck”

Was his only intelligible word before he ran off, grabbing his shades thankfully along with his other items. Racing to the one class he enjoyed, band.

 

Sure, the teacher was confused on how he played so well with everyone else but hey, nobody was questioning it. He just carried it around to play on his free time.

 

Sadly Tom wasn't actually supposed to play his Bass in the class but he was allowed to play a school owned instrument!

 

So that was fucking cool, he was allowed to play the baritone due to there being one left. Mostly because of the lack of people even knowing of the instruments existence.

 

The buttons, clicking. The trembling reed and the resounding echoing down through the bell was so much different than an electric, lower keyed guitar but hey! It was something.

 

Plus, it was silver. So that was a bonus.

 

Tom's positive thoughts were instantly eradicated as he tripped, lose shoelaces. His face was headed straight to the ground but thankfully Tom was able to hold out his hands.

  


That, was a terrible mistake. With a stomach wrenching crack from his wrist immediately led to Tom landing onto his knees and holding back a pained scream.

 

Thankfully there was numerous staff members around due to him being nearby the cafeteria, the uniformed person approaching him and trying to speak to him.

 

Of course, all Tom could hear was his heart thudding and thudding. His eyes widening in terror as he stared at the deformed limb. Knowing that he wouldn't be able to play his instruments for a good while.

 

Once the staff noticed the sticker on his student ID they began to pull him along to the nurses office where Tom was snapped out of his panic attack.

 

Now he was facing a woman who was on the phone with paramedics. He could tell by the urgency of the phone call, yet his attention snapped back to his wrist that was now covered in plastic bags of ice.

 

He couldn't really feel anything other than soreness now, his eyes still frantically wide but he couldn't really focus on anything. It was all blurry, his vision growing distant and unfocused. So in his last attempt to relax he closed his eyes.

  
  


Tom awoke in his bed again, the cold sheets always reminding him of awful memories but he was too scared to tell his foster parents about how uncomfortable he was with their gift.

 

He slowly sat up to notice the cast around his wrist, Tommy frowning and sighing softly.

 

At least it was his right hand. The cast had been signed by people he couldn't even recall, maybe it was the doctors? Despite his growing curiosity he slowly sat up, it was dark. Maybe it was just his room.

 

So he slowly padded over to his curtains and with slight struggle he managed to open them up to see the dark night sky. The stars were out and the street lights lit up the neighborhood in an almost terrifying manner.

 

In the silence of the night he slowly made his way out of his room, the door slowly creaking but it didn't matter. His parents couldn't hear.

 

The cashmere carpet underneath was soft and comforting, the boy had to hold his hands out to navigate his way to the kitchen where he'd be able to see due to the bright neon clock lights.

 

Now that he reached the lit room he flipped the light switch and cringed from the brightness. Having to cover his eyes due to their sensitivity. Once he slowly adjusted he made his way to the cabinet where he grabbed a small key underneath the boxes of unused plastic plates.

 

With the key Tom scurried to the liquor cabinet, carefully unlocking it to grab the hidden bottle of vodka, locking it and returning the key before returning to his room where he flicked the switch.

 

His room was a boring white, the black curtains were nice though. His Bass was carefully placed on it's stand by his work desk where he usually hid his alcohol and private items.

 

Tom debated on putting the vodka away but instead closed his door and locked it. The dyed haired male took a moment, wondering if he should open up the previously uncapped bottle or just handle his temptations by doing something else.

 

He did, putting the bottle into the locked drawer then went to his nightstand where his plugged in phone laid, he carefully picked it up to see a few messages by his parents. Obviously from when he was in the hospital so he just opened them up to clear his notifications.

 

Tom found himself sitting down on the bed as he slowly focused his attention onto his screen where he pulled up his social media. Tumblr, ah the sanctuary of gays.

 

After a few hours he realized that the sun was up and shining into his room, meaning that it was time for school soon. So he sat up and with much focus and anger he managed to undress out of the stupid loose clothing his parents must of put him in. That meant his hoodie was in the wash. So he rummaged through his closet before finding an old band shirt.

 

Metallica. Good enough.

 

He quickly pulled on the band merch before slowly making his way to the kitchen after plugging his nearly deceased phone in.

 

Tom grabbed a poptart and decided to grab some soda as well. Shoving the can of Pepsi into his backpack that was always placed on the kitchen counter.

 

“Okay, I got breakfast. I gotta back some lunch and I believe that I have detention today…”

 

He muttered quietly to himself before ending his train of thought with a careless shrug and walked over to the pantry once again.

 

After sticking his head and hands inside he eventually found some old chips and crackers. Taking them and immediately shoving those into his nearly empty bag.

 

There! _Perfect_.


	6. "How do you greet without words?"

Tom paused for a moment, looking around blankly to examine the room around him. Everything seemed so different now.

 

He could remember when the world wasn't so quiet, so distant and cold. When he'd awake in the morning to the sound of birds and thudding. Where he could smell the morning dew and through his broken window he could see the big blue sky.

 

Even if the AC didn't work, the rain wasn't that bad. Even if the carpet was soaked.

 

Even if he couldn't sleep at night, neither did his parents.

 

Back then, he knew the difference between a firework and a gunshot.

 

Now?

 

Now he just wished that he could hear the distant sirens, the clocks and alarms. He wished that he could hear the crinkelling of food and the sound of a bag full of cookies shaking.

 

Now he was hungry.

 

So he wandered off to the pantry and grabbed a cookie from a container that was Ziplocked. He didn't know how to feel about his new parents wealth. It was so strange to him.

 

He was so used to dirty floors and piles of old clothing. Now he always had new shirts and food; never having to check the expiration date.

 

It all seemed so surreal.

 

Was it even real?

 

“For every broken promise there is distrust between a child and man”

 

Tom muttered to himself, his lips almost curled in disgust. Yet he just slowly ate at the coconut and chocolate cookie. Enjoying the chewy texture and extraordinary sweetness.

 

He closed his eyes for a moment, just focusing on the food he was now eating, slowly finishing it down to the mess on his fingertips.

 

After licking the crumbs and smudges of chocolate he made his way back to his room. Slowly closing the door behind himself.

 

“Okay, when the clock hits 6:30 I will head to school. Do my work. Then go home and sleep”

 

He declared, taking a deep breath. The air filling his lungs, tightening before slowly  _ letting it go _ .

 

With hasty steps and his phone he made his way to school. Early like usual but spent the before school hours on his phone. What he didn't expect was someone to approach him and tap on his shoulder; once again so tenderly.

 

He snapped his head upwards to see Edd's happy gaze once again. The freckled boy taking a seat next to him and pulling out the black cased phone. Which was ironic due to Tom having a white case.

 

Without hesitation he pulled up his note with his own phone number, showing Edd who sent him a text.

 

UN: :3

 

Tom snickered and rolled his eyes, facing back at Edd.

“Really? What are you a furry?”

He questioned before adding the other into his contacts.

 

ED: I'm not a furry you are

 

TOM: what a carefully constructed retort, does the cat have your tongue?

 

He got a playful punch by Edd who huffed in complete denial and disappointment.

 

ED: ssjksk I'm gunna kick your ass I stg 

 

TOM: I fucking dare you

 

ED: so what happened with your arm? I saw the ambulance!

 

Tom paused, thinking if he should tell the truth or not. But he shrugged and winced. He could be honest, get laughed at or extreme concern directed at him.

 

TOM: I don't really remember, but I've got to go. My class is starting soon. I'll See you at PE ?

 

ED: of  _ course _ !

 

TOM: okay, now I'm going to kick your ass

 

ED: I'd like to see you try! See ya later tho shorty

  
  


Tom just curled his fist and shook at Edd before giving up and heading off to his next class.

Great, he had to see Mr. Smith. Maybe he could apologise!

 

He fixed his backpack and tucked his phone into his pants pocket before running off to class. Hoping that the teacher would attempt to make amends.

 

But the second he walked into the open classroom; he was greeted with a glare directed at him. 

 

“Edd, you're sitting with this delinquent. Away from the windows though; he's alienated enough”

 

Tom snapped his head around to see Edd behind him, a happy smile on his face as he just gave the other a simple nod.  Even though his eyes were burning with buried anger towards the man.

 

The green clothed male carefully led Tom to his new seat, smack in the middle in front of the teachers desk. Almost as if there was a spotlight right on him.

 

Despite the obvious hesitance in Tom's footsteps, he grew some form of confidence; he'd be by Edd. That meant he'd be away from those chatty assholes.

Honestly, Tom didn't even know he shared this class with Edd.

 

The second he adjusted to his seat and got his papers out, he noticed the kids flooding in. Yet he stayed silent, like always.

  
  
  


“Okay Tommy-- can  _ you _ see the board?”

Mr. Smith questioned menacingly but Tom lifted his head and tilted it.

 

“ what'd you say?”

He questioned, having slight confusion due to catching him last minute; Smith just groaned and rolled his eyes.

 

“Stupid  _ Mexicans _ … Can you see the board?”

Tom froze before furrowing his eyebrows. He was NOT Mexican. Yet he sighed and shrugged.

 

“Yes Ms.Smith”

“Mister Smith!” He shouted, his eyes set on Tom angrily.

 

“Sí Senor”

 

He instantly spat back-- yet the man just groaned and looked back at the rest of the class; a few students still chatting.

Edd took the chance, quickly facing Tom and giving him a sympathetic smile.

 

Tom went to reply, his jaw agape but stopped and shrugged before looking down at his paper. Noting the many pre made lines from all the immigrants working in factories where they couldn't afford machines yet.

 

So much like his parents that were now six feet under when they were six feet tall.

 

Death really does make us all equal doesn't it?


	7. "Is it hot in here or is it just the Fire?"

With a slightly shaky hand he grabbed a pencil from his pouch, holding it securely with his left hand before writing without intent.

 

  * "Why do we beg on our knees to the people who never have?"



Tom was hesitant, his eyes growing slightly sore and tired but without another second, his hand and pencil began to dance almost endlessly.

 

  * “Those who commit crimes are the ones who were mistreated”



 

  * “Every bully is just a man who forgot how to express their issues”



 

  * “The proletarians have nothing to lose but their chains. They have a world to win.” 



 

  * “ When everyone owns a weapon, nobody is safe”



  
  


  * “Why do pens that are owned by the rich more powerful than the louder citizens?”



 

Tom stops due to noticing Edd leaning in so Tom immediately covered them up by closing the spiral notebook. A slight angry expression fixed on Tom's features but relaxed when Edd backed off and went to his notes on the lesson that had been going on.

 

He was annoyed even so he began to work as well; grabbing another paper and neatly writing out the equations that had been written up on the board by a hand that was pampered.

 

But as his mind grew blank and his eyes stayed set on the paper, he began to write again.

  
  


  * “As a child I've realized that once I figured out I was a child; I didn't think like a child”



 

  * “Rationality becomes mishandled and only the ones who cannot convince: are heard”



  
  


  * “Sadness becomes content, then sadness _again_ ”



 

  * “Mankind destroys its own existence and the earth they once stood upon”



 

His attention was snapped away when Edd had placed a very tiny paper swan onto his desk, so he carefully lifted it with his fingers to hold it in the center of his palm.

 

It was so tiny, so fragile--He loved it.

So before their dictator of a teacher could see; he put the swan into his jacket pocket.

 

The hazel haired boy just lit up happily, a smile spread across his cheeks with the unintentional praise. Tom liked it!

 

Sadly, Tom's domestic moment was ruined by the fire drill alarm going off. Kids going absolutely batshit since it  **wasn't** a drill.

 

Edd himself was panicking, yet he just tapped on Tom lightly before pointing to the alarm going off-- Mr Smith already ordering the frantic kids to get in a line and head out of the school.

 

Out of what seemed to be stubbornness; Tom stayed still at his seat. Pretending to not know what was going on. He was still furious at his teacher for his ignorance.

 

Yet when Edd's tapping continued, turning into tugging Tom got up and stuffed his backpack of his belongings and caught up with the now running line of kids.

 

Tom could smell fire yet he didn't see it. Somebody just had to pull it early huh? The buildings seemed fine, other than the screaming kids from the track field due to it being closest to the source of the fire.

  
  


When the classes evacuated and spilled into the street in front of the school, Tord. Also known as Red, was sitting on the curb angrily. He smelled slightly of burnt plastic. It made Tommy somewhat uncomfortable.

 

The brunette decided to ignore the other and looked back at Edd who seemed absolutely apathetic towards the fire that rose from the buildings-- where were the firemen?

 

The sirens could be heard; but so could so many other cars who were people with cameras and cellphones. Tom's dull expression stayed set on Edd who began to text.

 

Tom didn't bother and looked back down at his feet, he always liked his checkered vans. They were always apart of his attire.

 

Yet when he changed his attention again, there were already firefighters and parents pulling up to pick up their children.

 

Tom pulled out his phone, no messages from his parents at all. He decided to send a text to Edd; worried but too tired to make eye contact.

 

TOM: things are getting  _ heated _ up huh?

 

ED: Talk about global warming huh?

 

TOM: Hey! I walk so I'm not contributing to that.

 

ED: sheihdej yea, can't believe you wear skinny jeans everywhere tho

 

TOM: I can't believe you've been looking at the lower part of my body, I'm aghast. How dare you!

 

ED: you've got a bigger ass than me!

 

TOM: Wow okay no I second that as bullshit. Also that's really gay.

 

Tom snickered, covering his smile with his hand as he looked up at Edd who was typing furiously.

 

ED: woah how bold of you to assume that I was straight to begin, don't assume my sexuality. Fight me I'll kick your ass I swear to God I will

 

ED: gay guys are strong too so fucking fight me 

 

TOM: Woah dude that's gay. We're both gay. So many possibilities. Wow. Anyway dude where are your parents?

  
  


Tom lifted his head to look around, trying to find his own family. The streets were clear except for a few kids still being taken away so Tom sent a text to his foster parents explaining that he needed them to pick him up.

  
  


ED: I walk actually

 

TOM: I'll walk with you, just in case somebody picks a fight. Or tries to light us on fire.

 

Edd looked back up at Tom, replying with a smile. A smile that had struck a chord in his chest. His lips playing with his heartstrings and the bunched up cheeks had made his face flush and grow a warm fuzzy feeling.

 

ED: it was Tord actually i was in the bathroom

 

TOM: Holy shit, but honestly. Fuck school.

 

ED: mood

ED: Lets go?


	8. "Whack"

Tom just looked at Edd, examining his features with a happy smile before nodding. So with that, he adjusted his backpack and began to walk with a grin--

 

He felt like everything was going to be okay. That everything would only go uphill from here.

  
  


Edd didn’t seem to mind the boys slight stare, yet he wondered why he was even looking at him. Nobody else took it as a pleasurable sight-- not even himself. However, the stare he’d given him wasn’t in any form rude. It was more of awe, attraction even!

 

The brunette had to shake the thought away and focused back on their walk due to him being the leader of it. 

 

Their walk was quiet, in every form. Tom just focusing on the area around him. His sight set on the calm features despite the smoke in the sky.

 

The boy wearing a dark blue hoodie was studying the sky, loving the ash and the orange tint. He knew that eventually the sun would be red-- making it all seem so strange. Then he began to think to himself.

 

Beauty is the unique-- the different. Something usually caused by accidents or issues but as soon as Tom noticed a small robin flying his mind changed subjects.

 

He remembered how he used to awake every morning to the obnoxious birds, their chirping-- their calls for sex and babies causing the neighborhood children to wake, to toss and turn until they could silence them out enough to return to their slumber.

 

Yet Tom was surprised when Edd began to walk up the driveway to a very quaint home, his home. 

It was a two-story house, the type of house you see from an a Pinterest recommended type pin or something. Only in real life with actual people living inside it. Said people being Edd and his parents.

 

The garage was open and had a dark green car parked inside, were Edd’s parents home? Plants in nice looking pots hung along the porch’s railing, the white paint seemed fresh and glossy-- did they hire a maid? And either one of Edd’s parents had to be a gardener or they hired one because the front garden looked so properly taken care of, much too nice for just hobbyist. Tom could only recognise a few blossoming plants, ranging from the typical tulip, orchids and daisies; a few other common house plants and flowers as well! The rest, he absolutely had no idea on what they were called.

 

Tom was thoroughly impressed-- His own family’s home wasn’t much. Just a clean dull brown home that was filled with pictures of people he’d never met before.

 

He was snapped out of his thoughts by Edd, who tugged on his sleeve to lead him inside. Oh, so he was heading inside the very nice home of Edd and he was probably going to meet the other’s parents, alright, no big deal, no need to get so worked up about it man--

 

Who was he kidding. He was inwardly freaking out, hopefully he wasn’t showing it outwardly as Edd let him inside with that cute smile of his. Just play it cool and hope for the best.

  
  


His parents immediately greeted the two, his mother pulling Edd into a tight hug, who was protesting it but obviously was a type to love bear hugs. While his father began to question Tom, his hands moving at an almost intimidating pace causing Tom to panic. 

 

“Hi I’m Tom!” The boy spoke awkwardly.

He still didn’t understand too much of american sign language.

 

The blue hooded boy didn’t know what to do, so he shut down. Tom gripped his broken arm and looked down, staring down at his shoes awkwardly.

 

“Edd-” Tom began, pleading for help but Edd had already escaped his mother’s anaconda like hold, speaking to his father with an awkward expression; his parents wouldn’t assume that this very handsome boy was anything more than just a platonic friend. At least, for now that’s what it was.

 

Before they knew it, Edd was already pulling him away; through the halls where Tom waved goodbye to the surprised parents.

“What’s their deal?” 

Tom questioned rather rudely, furrowing his eyebrows.

 

Edd responded by whipping out his phone and gave him a final tug that ended up with Tom falling on his knees in Edd’s nicely decorated room. 

 

ED: They have neurological disorders.

ED: They can’t hear or speak!   
  


Tom checked his phone and carefully examined the messages before looking back up at him.

 

“Whack”

 

Yet despite of falling on his ass, he couldn’t really feel it due to the adrenaline coursing his veins. His eyes were fixed on the floor; soft white carpet. Then he pulled his attention to the Edd’s room.

  
  


The walls were a nice soft shade of emerald green with shiny posters plastered over the walls, some posters he could see were Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh posters and some; to his delight, were of space.

There was a big bookshelf near the bed with various books filling the shelves along with some little action figures and toys occupying the space, yet what had really caught Tom’s attention was the glow in the dark stickers on the ceiling. He found himself staring up at them, and Edd was too.


	9. "Weirdo"

When Tom had realized Edd was doing the same, he found his view set on Edd and his glory; his face flushing a soft pink.

 

The boys round cheeks, his slightly squinted eyes. His pale, smooth skin that was littered with soft beauty marks. He couldn’t help but stare. The boys soft hazel green eyes had struck an arrow through his heart and he couldn’t look away.

 

Yet the boy he’d been staring at had noticed, his own cheeks flushing a soft pink and pulled out his phone.

 

ED: do i have somethin on my face?

 

Tom checked his phone and looked back up at him, giving the boy a shake of his head and a smile.

“Nah, I just thought I saw something”

 

Of course, Edd believed him and just nodded before rummaging through his backpack. Checking if he had any homework to do-- but due to the early release, he had none to do. So instead he just sat and looked up at Tom who was once again fixed on the ceiling.

 

Edd noticed the sketchbook that had been sticking out and in complete joy he pulled it out, flipping through the pages. And once he found a clean canvas, he immediately texted Tom.

 

ED:  hold still i wanna draw you!

 

Tom snapped out of his daze and checked his phone, raising an eyebrow.

 

“Why?”

 

Edd responded by crossing his arms and huffing.

 

“Fine----” He whined, drawing out his response before sitting down and crossing his arms.

 

ED: Shades off?

 

Tom refused to check his phone, so Edd just reached over and snatched his protective glasses.

 

“Hey what the hell!-”

 

He was interrupted by Edd cupping his face. Inspecting how the light would shine against the darkness of his eyes.

 

Tom was surprised as well as infuriated. His pupils shrunk slightly due to him focusing on the others stare, his iris showing. Those beautiful ice blue eyes that had been hidden for so long.

 

Tom expected the other to speak but then looked down when realizing that’d be pointless to hope for but he got something much better.

 

He got a smile and a kiss on his forehead.

 

Edd loved his eyes, unique as they were, they weren’t any less beautiful. It just made him so much more mysterious.

 

“Take a picture, It’ll last longer”

Tom spat but that’s exactly what Edd did, snapping a quick photo of the upset male. Then his own eyes set on the picture with a grin-- Tom, who was absolutely flustered.

Too many mixed signals!

 

Edd’s gaze was set on the photograph on his phone, examining it before looking back up at Tom who was staring at him with wide black eyes.

 

The boy just tilted his head causing Tom to snap out of it.

 

“Hey! Next time warn me!”

Yet Edd just smiled at him, a soft laugh escaping his lips.

 

“Godammit…” Tom cursed under his breath, the heat in his cheeks becoming almost unbearable.

 

Tom still couldn’t get Edd’s smile out of his mind, It was driving him crazy.

 

“My ass still hurts asshole”

 

Edd just replied with a wink that made tom stiffen up and curve his eyebrows angrily.

“You’re such an asshole!”

 

ED: you really like calling me a asshole dont you?

 

Tom carefully scanned over the message before taking a screenshot.   
“For the matter of fact, Yes. I do.”

 

ED: ur so weird sksksk

 

Tom just stuck out his tongue defiantly before folding his arms dramatically.

Edd just laughed softly, smiling at the boy. He couldn’t help but admire Tom’s red cheeks and pointed eyebrows. He looked so silly when he was mad!

 

Though Edd preferred it when Tom smiled, he always looked better happy and smiling in his personal opinion but he could never tell Tom that.

 

Wait, what was he going to do again? Oh right, he was going to draw Tom.

 

With that in mind, Edd put his phone down, looking at the photo he’d taken earlier and starting to copy it onto the sketchbook. Tom immediately scooting over to him to watch his pencil dance with a curious expression set on his features.

 

He always enjoyed the feeling of the pencil against the paper and Tom loved watching it.

 

After a few minutes of silent watching, Tom’s phone buzzed and informed him of the incoming message from his parents.

 

With an irritated groan, he picked up his phone to check it, Right. He never told his parents where he was huh? Or what had happened at school-

 

Yet his parents weren’t mad, just concerned of his well being. They were even offering some dinner. So Tom couldn’t be too annoyed but still, it was so strange. His original parents would of slapped him into hell for that.

 

Alright, now he was beginning to feel a bit guilty for making them worry. It  _ was _ getting late, he should head home, but he was enjoying his time with Edd. 

Even if wanted to stay a little longer, he feared the consequence of staying too long- Edd’s parents, well his dad was terrifying and he really didn’t want to overrun his stay.

 

“I should get going, it’s….”

He quickly looked at his phone again to check the time.   
  
“It’s almost nine! Damn dude, yeah I need to get going-” He was interrupted by Edd smiling at him and giving him an understanding nod.   
  


ED: sounds good do you need a ride home?   
  


Tom read over the message before shaking his head, he could walk. He was used to it. He had grown accustomed to the soreness on the bottom of his feet, the ache in his back from carrying his bag and the usual blistering sun on his face. 

And before he knew it, he was on the move again.

The night was quieter out here, The birds chirping and the owls letting out their occasional sounds. He couldn’t help but smile, There was so many birds that he could hear them! But then he laughed quietly to himself. That meant everyone else could  _ definitely _ hear them.

 

Yet even in his happy moment, he got another text.   
  
ED: You know ur goin the wrong way right?

 

Tom stopped and turned around to see Edd waving at him, this made Tom turn a bright red. He  _ wasn’t _ going the wrong way! That weasel!

 

The brunette huffed and fixed his backpack before rushing off again, trying to get Edd’s stupid smile out of his head.

 

TOM: shush, I know where I’m going.


	10. "Sarcasm but not really"

Edd just laughed quietly to himself, letting Tom march off into the night. Now he wished that he could of convinced him for a ride, yet he didn't even know Tom’s address, damn. He should ask next time when he had the chance.

 

The boy in the green hoodie continued the drawing, a smile growing across his face as he did. He loved the soft sounds the graphite made, etching away at the paper and leaving a trail that would become a beautiful masterpiece. But even if it didn’t come out good, it was worth a try. He hoped Tom would like it when he finished and showed the drawing to him tomorrow.

 

When Tom finally made it to his home, welcomed by concerned hugs and holdings until he was let free of their embrace where he was left to be in his room to sleep.

 

But he didn’t sleep.

 

He couldn’t. Insomnia was leaking in and so was loneliness as well, he had been alone for so long that he forgot what actual company was. The moon seemed to be enough back then but now. Now he was stuck alone, trying to fix what he never really had. Tom huffed, shifting on his bed before giving up and just stared at the ceiling of his room and let his mind wander. He found the glowing stars on his ceiling to be comforting, the slight green tint reminding him of Edd’s warm embrace.

 

It was strange, feeling the loneliness now that he remembered what company felt like- Edd was  _ great _ company and already he was looking forward to spending time with him tomorrow. School would definitely be less shitty now that he knew and hung out with him. 

 

Before he knew it, his insomnia seemingly went away as he slowly drifted off to sleep, dreaming of silent but cute smiles and dorky puns. 

 

The next morning found himself searching through his folder, looking over his notes and trying to pick which one to give to Edd. He shuffled through them before picking one that he wrote after waking up this morning. 

 

_ “We cut our skin writing apologies for the trees that gave us every breath to hold” _

 

Maybe this one? Would Edd even like it? Well he did say he liked his quotes and stuff so maybe? Crap, he was getting nervous now.

Then he read over it again, Noticing the slightly morbid hint and decided against it, stuffing it back into the folder he hid them in.

 

Tom grabbed his pencil and grabbed the nearest sticky notepad, ripping one yellow one off from the rainbow stack and without another thought, he wrote down what came from his mind.

 

_ “We fill our cars with the scent of pine needles-- but we kill the pine forest for the roads” _

 

Tom didn’t know why he thought of that, maybe it was the memory of his parent’s cheap air fresheners that hung on the rear view mirror. Or maybe the sight of it thrashing when-

  
  


When Tom finally snapped out of his trance, he realized that he’d been crying. Tears had stained his jacket and pants. He had slobber and snot all over his face and the shirt’s collar.

 

He was curled up, knees to his chest with his back against the wall, rocking gently like a child who was held by their mother.

 

But he couldn’t remember if he was ever held by his mother.

 

Tom felt his phone buzzing in his pocket, Tom’s wet shaky hands grabbed and checked it to see the texts from Edd.

 

ED:  dude are you awake yet?

 

ED: leaving me on read how dare u

 

ED: im gunna  _ kik _ ur ass

 

ED: Jk idek if you saw my texts. Probably not tho. You always reply instantly

 

Tom laughed quietly, sniffling as he wiped at his face with his moist sleeves. Shit, how much water did he drink? Was it even water?

 

Tom couldn’t tell, his nose was plugged so the stench of vodka would be very faint.

 

TOM: I don’t even have Kik, anyway yeah i just woke up. Crazy ass dream dude.

 

ED: what about?

 

“You…” Tom mumbled softly to himself before standing up and taking his space jacket off. He needed to put on fresh clothes now.

 

TOM: fuckin space dude, shit was lit. We were on on the moon.

 

ED: dude give me some  _ space _ , I’m bad with  _ Comet-ment _

TOM: Holy shit dude where do you even get these?

 

ED: out of my ass

 

TOM: makes sense

 

Tom quickly slipped on another hoodie, It was a simple black. Yet it had a strange blue tint, so then it wasn’t exactly black?

 

ED: anyway wanna meet up before school?

 

TOM: Sure, where at?

 

ED: by the storm drain?

 

TOM: How romantic, I’m swooning

 

TOM: But sure, what time?

 

ED: Im already here!

 

Tom instantly grabbed his backpack, running to the bathroom to brush his teeth and to fix his hair. He quickly washed his hair before running back out, snatching a poptart and dashed right out the door.

His feet pounded at the ground almost painfully, which was kind of strange since they normally didn’t feel that way in the morning and it wasn’t until he stopped at a crosswalk when he realized he was in his  _ socks _ .

 

Fuck. 

 

He tried to backtrack back towards his house, mentally cursing, in his hurry to met up with Edd he’d forget to put on his goddamn shoes. No wonder his feet felt sore! Edd was going to have a laugh when he’d tell him why he was late to meet up with him. Tom could already hear Edd’s definitely  _ not _ adorable snicker and see the amused and teasing grin he’d give him. 

 

Of course he was stopped by a hand on his shoulder and Tom let out a startled yelp and sharply  whirled around, holding up his fists before groaning in defeat once realizing it was Edd.

 

“Don’t say  _ anything _ ”

 

Edd just grinned smugly and laughed softly which caused Tom to groan and shake his fists angrily for dramatic effect. Then the brunette pointed downwards, looking amused.

 

ED: I like your socks

 

Tom paused, reading his phone screen before looking back at his socks. Marijuana leaves. Totally school appropriate.


	11. "Mary- Jeh- wuana"

“Shit I gotta go back to my place now…”

 

Edd just laughed and nodded, he did rummage through his bag just in case but found nothing of use, he was hoping to find some plastic bags for his feet but alas; nothing.

 

ED: Ill walk you there?

 

Tom flushed slightly at the idea but was grateful that it wasn’t easily seen so he just shrugged and nodded. Seemingly uncaring or totally _not_ absolutely joyous about the idea of spending more time with him.

 

The walk was rather awkward, not only silent but it was extremely nerve racking. However Tom began to speak, it was the only thing on his mind after all.

 

“Do you ever just, blank out? And when you come back everything is different? Like one second you’re just writing and the next you like, on the roof or somethin’. I dunno because I had a weird fucking morning.”

  


ED: you reek of alcohol dude

 

Tom checked his phone before looking over at Edd with slight confusion after sniffing his sleeves and collar for the scent.

 

“Shit really?”

 

Edd nodded, confirming Tom’s uncertainty.

 

“Man- I’ll have to shower too!”

 

The mute just laughed and nodded in agreement. That would be for the best, Tom couldn’t head to class like that.

 

However, Edd’s phone went off with an email from the school, Tom’s as well.

  


**_“EMERGENCY!  A fire has been reported on the campus in, if you are on school grounds, evacuate immediately.  If you are not in the area, stay clear so that emergency units and firefighters can work unimpeded. All classes and school events will be postponed until further notice.  Follow instructions from officials or local authorities. For additional information and updates go to_ ** [ **_(Emergency Website)_**](http://www.ucsb.edu/)

**_{End of message}.”_ **

  
  


“Shit I guess I don’t have school then?”

Edd nodded in agreement, smiling at him then at his phone as he typed away.

 

ED: Why dont we do something fun? Go to the beach or something?

 

TOM: I don’t have a car!

 

ED: Hmm ig why dont we go hiking then?

 

TOM: there’s trails around here???

 

ED: yee

 

TOM: Damn, lead the way!

 

Edd looked up at Tom with an excited grin, beginning to walk with him as Tom typed his message to his parents; explaining that there was no school but he was going to hang with his friends.

 

But as Tom looked up from his phone, Edd burst into laughter-- Tom still needed shoes!

  


“Oh- Come ON! Don’t laugh!” Tom began but stopped, seeing how hard Edd was laughing. He was gripping his stomach and hunched over, trying his best to stop as happy tears gathered in his eyes.

 

Of course, Tom couldn’t stay mad at the sight. In fact, his heart began to bound and flutter so out of pent up frustration he gave a playful punch to Edd’s shoulder.

 

“C’mon let’s just go get my shoes already”

 

Edd just gathered himself before standing upright and slinging an arm around Tom’s shoulder with a smug grin.

 

Tom just furrowed his eyebrows at him, but was relieved when he actually didn’t say anything, just a grin that just expressed emotion-- not an opinion.

  


Nothing to scold or hate just pure emotion and that’s when Tom realized how _defensive_ he really was.

 

The male with soft cheeks and sleek hair just pulled his phone out, typing with a faint smile.

 

ED: lets hurry and get your shoes before a cop comes

 

Tom gazed at the message before rolling his eyes.

“Racist”

 

ED: I'm not the one with marjiuana socks bro

 

TOM: fuck you

 

ED: say it outloud man

 

Tom just looked back up at Edd, furrowing his eyebrows but said nothing. Refusing to give in or curse at Edd truthfully.

  


ED: thought so buddy

 

“I’ll kick your ass”

Tom replied instantly, his face growing a soft shade of wine red and Edd had noticed for once, his own face becoming a soft rose pink against his pale cheeks.

 

Tom was entranced, not even realizing that Edd was as well, staring at him but their moment was interrupted by Edd’s phone going off from a call-- stupid advertising questionnaires.

Of course, Edd didn’t pick up. He just happily swiped left before smiling at Tom, grabbing his sleeve and leading him towards their walk again.

  


The latino followed and focused back on his phone, trying to avoid eye contact.

 

TOM: why don’t you talk anyway?

 

ED: why cant you hear?

 

TOM: I don't want to talk about it

 

ED: Thats fair ig, My therapist says it’s because of the long history of childhood abuse

 

TOM: Shit, I sound like a weenie compared to you. Are you alright now?

 

ED: yee

  


Tom looked back up from his phone, gently patting Edd’s back. The boy just smiled and rolled his eyes. All of that was so long ago.

 

ED: so why do you drink anyway? Arent you like 16?

 

TOM: Yeah I’m sixteen and a senior, hurray. And idk man.

 

ED: I feel like you do know

 

Tom just looked up from his phone, furrowing his eyebrows at him before sighing softly.

 

“I’ve drank all of my fucking life, what do you expect from a _wetback_?”

 

Tom snapped before stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets. His gaze set on the sidewalk but his thoughts were interrupted by Edd who just placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

 

Then Edd just gently patted Tom’s back, feeling the cloth before replying.

 

ED: seems pretty dry to me buddy

 

Tom checked his phone before snorting and shaking his head.

“You are... such a fucking dork”

 

Tom took a moment before smiling up at Edd, grinning happily.

 

“I’m kinda jealous, I’m not very good at comedy”

 

ED: I mean your face is funny enough

 

“Wow true”

Tom replied, rolling his eyes before finally reaching his home. His parents weren’t home.

 

“Hey why don’t we just chill at my place? We can snack and shit”

 

ED: idk if i wanna shit at ur place but yee sounds cool

 

TOM: You can’t have my oreos though.

 

ED: did i _say_ i would?

 

TOM: I don’t know I couldn’t _hear_ you

 

Edd instantly burst into laughter again, grinning as he gripped his stomach.

 

“Jesus dude-- You’re gonna have an asthma attack!”

 

“I guess y-you took the breath out of me!” Edd replied through his laughter and Tom froze.

 

He couldn’t hear if he actually spoke or not-- but he had his hopes.

 

“Okay okay c’mon you loser” Tom huffed, grabbing him by his sleeve before pulling him inside the house, extremely glad he had his house keys on him. But as soon as they entered the home he felt slightly sick in his stomach.

 

And strangely, Edd noticed immediately. He could recall his own experience in his foster home. So he just distracted Tom by grabbing his hand like a child, pulling him along. Tom assumed he was searching for his room-- and that terrified him.

 

“No!No!No!”

 

Tom argued, having to ground his feet and pull him away from the bedroom door that had his name displayed on it with the childish paper letters.

 

But it was too late, Edd quickly swung the door open and dragged Tom along to examine the nicely decorated room. It seemed like he was a Metal Punk fan who had an extreme fascination of space.

 

Of course, Edd grew distracted and let go of Tom to study everything; posters, band merch, photographs and… a Bass guitar?

 

Edd immediately went to it, enjoying the black and white chessboard pattern but before he could touch it, Tom grabbed his hand roughly.

 

“Do not touch her”

 

‘I thought you were gay’ Edd mouthed out with a quirked brow.

 

“I- oh my god but seriously don’t touch Susan… she’s the only thing that’s actually mine”

  
  



	12. "Gay"

 

ED: shit what about me brO?

  


TOM: That’s gay.

  


ED: Not if we have socks on bro

  


Tom began to laugh, snickering and shaking his head before looking up at Edd who just grinned at him.

  
  


ED: I was getting tired of you not smiling so i had to drop a lil gay in the moment

  


TOM: That’s really gay.

  


ED: how gay exactly?

  


TOM: The “I’ll kiss you under the highschool bleachers” gay bro.

  


ED: That’s really gay

 

ED: but i'm not that gay

  


TOM: me neither

  


The two boys were now firmly planted into the soft carpet ground, yet Tom was intently staring at his phone.

Waiting for Edd to reply but that boy was just staring at him-- almost with a slightly hurt gaze.

  


TOM: would you date a guy though?

  


There was no response so Tom snapped over at Edd who was just scrolling through his social media-- avoiding their conversation.

 

“Dude,” Tom began, scooting over to Edd awkwardly, trying to understand why he was being so distant.

 

“You left me of read, what’s going on?”

 

Edd stopped and just shut off his phone, looking down awkwardly.

 

“I don’t want to talk about it” Edd replied, yet he could feel Edd’s warm breath and smell It’s minty freshness from how close he was.

 

Edd spoke-- so it wasn’t a physical thing.

 

“Ok” Tom replied simply, standing up and rummaged through his drawers before pulling out the half empty grey goose vodka bottle.

 

This caused Edd to slightly panic, he gulped and adjusted before pulling out his phone-- typing furiously.

  
  


ED: How much alcohol do you have dude?! And I don't think it's a good idea that you get fucking plastered at your parents house!

  


Tom didn’t even check his phone, instead stood up. Then he searched for a cup; finding it and filling it before sitting down.

 

“Do you want some?” Tom offered, taking a sip from the liquid that stunk of nail polish remover and rubbing alcohol.

 

Edd paused for a moment, eyeing the cup nervously; Tom was so nonchalant about this. As if it really wasn’t a big deal. So he carefully grabbed the small glass- sniffing it before groaning in disgust.

 

Tom just took it back and took a long swig before facing back at Edd.

  
  


ED: That shit is fucking disgusting omfdsfndkf

  


Tom pulled out his phone, reading the previous messages before replying as he grabbed the bottle of vodka.

  


TOM: It’s better than soda.

 

ED: Take that back.

 

TOM: No.

 

TOM: admit it, Cola sucks ass.

  


Edd curled his fists, shaving it at Tom who just grinned smugly before taking another sip.

But Edd’s menacing glare that was all too adorable made him choke. Nearly dropping his cup as he coughed and sputtered-- gasping for breath as Edd stole Tom’s shit eating grin.

  


ED: Choking on your own bullshit aren’tcha?

  


When Tom finally relaxed, the tightness in his chest causing him to whine a bit. When he felt fine enough, he took a quick drink from his glass; gulping it down.

TOM: I fucking hate you.

  


ED: careful there buddy boi

  


TOM: I will kick your ass.

  


ED: bring it on lil dude

  


TOM: I will bite your ankles!

  


ED: gOodLUcK

 

ED: are you alr tho?

  


TOM: Yeah

  
  


Edd just responded with a kind smile up at Tom who just filledfill glass back up, happily finishing it off but had to drop the once again empty cup when Edd began to rummage through his closet out of curiosity.

 

“Edd!” He cried out but it was too late, Edd had already pulled out the cringy goth shirt-- with Edgar allen poe over it and self-made holes all over it from his old edgy phase but it was all too late.

 

The boy with shoes began to laugh, holding it to his chest, shaking his head in disbelief.

 

Tom groaned and rolled his eyes so hard it looked like it hurt before going back to his cup, refilling it before sitting down on his bed. Sipping at his drink occasionally as he watched Edd rummage through his clothing.

 

Edd finally stopped, returning with just an old black tank top.

  


ED: you stink. You gotta change bro

 

TOM: tryng to make me show my skin huh? I ain’t no slut

 

ED: No it’s because there’s less to wash ya numbnuts

 

Tom rolled his eyes but did so, logic and reasoning was already out the window for him. Removing his hoodie with ease to reveal his bandaged body-- covered in wraps and stitches from the large amounts of surgery he’d gone through.

 

Edd felt guilt-- despite the fact he had nothing to do with it. So he just studied Tom’s insecurity.

 

Tom was just growing impatient, trying to grab the tank from him so he could at least cover his chest from him.

 

“Dudeeeee”

Tom whined but was instantly interrupted by Edd gently tracing the scar across his shoulder blade; rugged and similar to a thunderstrike.

But curiosity grew; what caused this one? The thickest and the most brutal. The most fresh that was struggling to even out the coloring so it would blend in with the others.

 

Tom was confused from the others distracted gaze, but he couldn't fight him on it. He did the same every time he looked in the mirror, recalling the night. The night where he had lost everything but the screeching tire-

 

Edd had to hold Tom now, the boy was stiff and tense with his hands trembling like a broken record; scratching at his wrists that Edd now held.

 

The pale boy tried to calm him from the sudden panic attack, now that guilt grew so did his own insecurity. He couldn’t keep him still with his hands he had to get up and rip the blanket that was on his bed before tying Tom up; wrapping the boy up to cover him with a sense of security.

 

The sound of screeching tires, skidding roads and the honking horns. The crescendo of chaos until it all ended with his body yards away from the impact; surrounded by fire. Surrounded by blurry faces and sirens.

 

But he found himself slowly regaining himself by the gentle stroking in his hair, Edd combing it carefully with his fingers in a repetitive; soft manner.


	13. "Right?..."

The room was silent other than the trembling breaths of the terrified boy.

 

His eyes welling up with tears as he kept revisiting the horrors of his past-- he was trying to distract himself but with each step forward he collapsed. His legs were sore and tired from running away for so many years.

 

His cheeks grew slimy and sleek, much too weak to wipe away or bother to sniffle. For he knew he was already a mess. He always was, stumbling through his home and the streets in attempt to escape himself. To escape the demons in his head.

 

But Edd’s gentle grasp was there, holding him still. Holding him up like the mighty man he was. Like olympus; holding his world over his shoulders but instead in his arms with a gentle hug.

 

No words are spoken but so many things were said; Edd was patient, careful but stern.

He wouldn't let Tom go. He knew what the first thing he’d grab would be. He knew this wasn’t the first time today; he’d been drinking so long that the constant blackouts and breakdowns just seemed to be a **daily event.**  
  
Of course he was curious as much as he was concerned. But now with a single clue. It had to do something with his scars. Something that had been so traumatizing and devastating that it left marks across his skin as if it was a canvas.

 

His chest was trembling despite the thick layer around him, Tom’s body was quivering and shivering as if he was thrown into the snow with only flip flops to keep warm.

 

Edd laughed internally to himself about that mental image but of course had his attention snapped back to the sniffling boy in his arms.

 

Tom’s skin was a soft brown. Except his hair was bleached and dried out from the years of treatment. Yet, tom hadn’t put gel in his hair today so it was limp and loose. But it was still slightly upright due to the years of strict training, it kind of looked like dying wheat.

 

But when Tom regained himself, he passed out in Edd’s grasp. So Edd just continued to hold the boy, trying to figure out where to put him and questioning if he even could. But of course he gently lifted Tom with struggle but swiftly and placed him on the bed due to tom helping him out, rolling out of his hands onto the cushioned haven.

 

Now it was just him and the numerous alcohol bottles that caused his room to smell of his own addiction.

 

He could simply throw them out and have Tom hate him- _or_ he could just put them up where a drunk Tom couldn’t grab.

 

So that’s what he did, glad that he was taller than most kids his age. Edd grabbed the numerous bottles laying around; placing them up in the closet, on the shelf above the clothing.

 

The more Edd put up, the more he found. From under his bed, in the cabinet, in his backpack and hell even flasks in his jackets. Not to mention the drawer that was filled with shot bottles of smirnoff that reeked due to falsey or loose caps.

 

Edd hoped that Tom was just a intense partier other than what he began to assume.

 

God he hoped that Tom could be happy...

without alcohol-- and now he realized. For every second he’s seen this boy he was either drunk or he’d been drinking. Was this a sober Tom? A boy crashed out on the bed, bounded down by a blanket because he grew so desperate for more alcohol?

 

These thoughts began to swarm, Edd’s own chest constricting with anxiety and fear; was Tom okay?

 

Of course Edd could easily just blame the pain he was in, physical or emotional. With every question and thought came another, swarmed by this frenzy of ravenous words and messages that picked away at him.

 

They soared and swung down at him, knocking edd of off his ground and then he was stuck. Staring at the hungover boy on the bed who was stiff and crashed out. What happened to him? Who happened?

 

Was it his fault? Did he do something wrong?

 

Edd crumbled, his entire body trembling when he began to put it together. It was his fault. All his fault because he decided to jump into some kid’s life and thought for fucking once he was worthy of a friend. But were they even friends?

 

Did Tom even like him?

  


He tried to calm down oh he tried, so he continued to clean up through his soggy eyes. His cheeks dripping and his nose running as if he was trying to avoid his responsibilities. He wouldn’t give in. He couldn’t just leave Tom. He couldn’t just abandon him. Not like everyone else.

 

He bagged up the shot bottles with a plastic bag, tying it up and outting it back in the drawer; so the wood wouldn’t stain.

 

Then he began to check all the caps of the other bottles, making sure they wouldn’t make a mess before setting them back up on the floor of the closet, he knew he couldn’t hide them. He just needed to clean it all up. Just a little. Just a little-

  
  


Edd now looked at the prepped up room, already having Tom laying down correctly and rested on a pillow.

He cleaned up the scattered papers and clothes, slightly folding but more pile piling; he wasnt _that_ neat. Maybe it’s a habit from his parents.

Maybe it was something embedded into him from his childhood; or maybe he just liked being clean. Fuck if he knew. At this point; everything he did was because of his past. Almost as if he could never be who he _really_ is.

 

But if he were to do what he wanted; would Tom be okay with that?

 

His attention was snapped back to the boy who let out a quiet groan from his throbbing headache, edd; who knew nothing about hangovers other than the cliche glass of water just ran off to grab what the boy needed.

 

His shoes slid across the waxed floors and nearly slammed into a wall but thankfully to his _totally_ graceful instincts He was able to catch himself and continue running to the kitchen.

 

He poured Tom a glass of water, using the sink since he couldn’t find the water dispenser and carefully went up the wooden stairs so he wouldn’t spill it everywhere but when he reached tom’s room and opened the door;

  


He saw an upright Tom, _already_ drinking from the flask in his hoodie pocket.

 

The second his mind processed what he had seen; boiling rage filled him. But then it quickly turned into pity, Tom wasn’t trying to spite him. He just wanted to feel better in the only way he knew how.

 

Edd paused, reconstruction his approach; so he slowly sat beside Tom, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and rested his cheek on his shoulder. He slightly rocked Tom, swaying very carefully. Just to let him know that it was going to be okay. Tom was going to be okay.

  


Right?


	14. "Just let me help you!"

Edd’s concern was momentarily paused by Tom’s noisy shuffling, his grasp was loosening around the metal container and it dropped due to him drifting off but it didn’t matter. It was empty anyway.

 

The green hoodie wearing boy just watched it hit the floor, then looked back at Tom as he began to speak.

  
  


“Do… so fuck,” Tom murmured, which caused a moment of confusion but of course; How could Tom think of anything articulate in this state of mind? Not to mention he was very, very drunk so his line of thought wasn’t clear and coherent.

 

Edd pulled his phone from his pocket and just smiled, typing something up on his notepad before showing it to Tom.

 

  * Do you need some water?



 

Tom paused, trying to read the text and eventually zoomed in on the boys screen with shaky, sloppy fingers before facing back up at Edd with a very confused, dazed look.

 

“Qué?”

 

Edd sighed, shaking his head before taking a minute. He did have water bottles in his backpack, but he couldn’t really let go of a dizzy Tom. But then again; bringing Tom down with him to grab the needed items would be even more dangerous.

 

But before he could make his decision, Tom began to press forward forward. 

 

Jesus christ!- was Tom was the leaning tower of pisa or something?

 

Edd grumbled before pressing Tom onto his back, having him lay down before scooting over to his backpack; reaching over and just barely reached the straps, yanking it over before finally grabbing ahold of the plastic arrowhead water bottle, handing it to the still laid out Tom.

 

The drunk male flailed a bit, his arms sloppily waving up in the air in attempt to grab the bottle. But he was still laying down; drinking would be clearly unsafe.

 

Edd groaned, clearly annoyed about the fact he had to baby him but he did anyway. He sat Tom up again, handing him the bottle-- but then he had to open it for him too.

 

His attention slowly drifted away, Edd rubbing his eyes that were dried out from the stress he was going through but he nearly screamed when he felt something cold and wet on his legs.

 

The boy didn't say anything, but his face gave away his anger and surprise.

 

Tom had passed out again while holding the open bottle, spilling it everywhere and when Edd moved; he fell back down. Spilling the drink all over his bed.

 

Edd couldn't really think of anything to say; or even do at this point! He was a mess.

 

But he got an idea; and his phone slipped out of his pocket and began to take photos of the passed out male.

  
  


Blackmail. Fuck yeah.

 

Edd took a moment to think, okay so Tom's room was just cleaned but the stench of Alcohol still lingered; so he rummaged through the boys desk until he found body spray.

 

He covered his mouth with his shirt as he sprayed the room; trying to cover it up. 

 

The closet was untouched, having misorganized clothing that just looked like clutter.

As Edd cleaned, he was able to find more. Not alcohol, but clues. Pictures, polaroids of people he never met. He took a moment, seeing a very young Tom with big happy blue eyes and his biological parents-- then it all came together.

 

_ The man tied his rough fingers into the mothers arm, bruises on his knuckles and bruises on her neck. Tom himself having the same marks around his throat and the ripped, dirty clothing. Their home and bodies stained with poverty, abuse and addiction. _

 

This is when Edd began to finally crumble himself;

 

His pupils shrunk and shook, his body trembling as he held the photo and his face grew red. Tears began to fall from his cheeks; feeling like acid against his skin.

 

He didn’t know why-- But he never cried this much before.

 

Maybe it was the fact that Tom was his friend and he went through his stuff, or maybe it’s because he despised the idea of anyone going through such an awful life and painful childhood.

  
  


Did his parents hurt him? Is that where the scars came from?

 

Edd didn’t know what to do-- or what to say.

  
  


“Hey sorry your parents were abusive n shit”

 

“Hey sorry for having a shit family”

 

“Hey sorry that nobody ever cares to listen to what you were going through until it was too  _ late _ ”

 

His lungs tightened and a hiccup escaped his throat; god. God Dammit. God. FUCKING. Dammit-

 

Why do people seem so blind to friends who suffer but as suddenly someone dies that’s when people step in with flowers and fake tears. Were they crying because of guilt? Because they knew they could of done something?

 

There was too many things he could say, too many things to do. It was all too much.

 

Edd took a moment, focusing on his breathing and distracting himself by looking at his phone; scrolling blindlessly. He eventually found himself staring at pictures of kittens, watching videos of the newborns stumbling around mewling with their cute little faces and soft, wet noses.

 

His cheeks were red and raw, a few stray tears still dripping down his face. But he paused to wipe at his face again. Okay, he needed to just clean up himself and get to helping Tom again. This was about Tom, not him.

 

After an hour of fanning, water drinking and a fan; he was able to revert to a more calm state. Yet Tom was still asleep.

 

Edd didn’t mind but-- It was getting late! And he  _ really _ didn’t want to leave Tom all alone.

  
He quickly thought of an idea;  **Sleepover** !


	15. "SMIRNOFF"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (I say don't use google translate just yet, wait until the fanfic is finished! then re-read it using a translator, trust me. It'll be worth it :P )

It really didn’t take much to convince his parents that he could spend the night, Edd was a good kid!-- Well more like he never got caught for the mischief he pulled at school.

 

But then, where was Tom’s family? Did they go somewhere?

 

Out of pure curiosity, he searched Tom’s hoodie for his phone; checking it. Maybe his parents texted him or something, at least that was what Edd thought.

 

He had a PIN, okay.

 

SMIRNOFF

 

Yup, _of course_ that worked.

 

He scrolled through his apps, most of it just being social media; tumblr, Instagram, Twitter ect. Eventually he found his messaging app, looking through it to see the contact names.

 

ED? Who the fuck was--

 

Oh.

 

Edd rolled his eyes before changing his own contact name; EDD. Jesus christ Tom.

 

Then he began to scroll through his messages, checking the other contacts.

 

“Mom2”

 

“Dad2”

 

“Mom 1”

“Dad 1”

 

Edd took a moment, checking the original parents contacts, the last time they spoke was two years ago. Oh. it was all in spanish, damn.  He took a small peek at the last message between Tom and his Mother.

  


_{Mom1: Las cosas mejorarán, tu papá solo necesita ir a rehabilitación, ¿vale? Cuelga ahí.}_

  


Edd could go and translate it through google but of course that would take FOREVER. Due to the fact Tom’s phone was slower than a dried up turtle.

  


But Tom had messaged his newer parents recently, and they were speaking about the first day of school. That was months ago. Edd just guessed that Tom didn’t talk to them very much, or maybe it was all deleted. And if that was the case, why?

 

Edd was jolted out of his thoughts when a loud snore came from the drunk beside him, “ _Snrk_ \- _calllate la jodiida cabezza es una p-piiña_ -” What.

 

“Fffuck offf _laa perrra_ ….”  Well at least he understood the second to last bit. He’d probably ask Tom for a translation of what he said when the other sobered up or something.

 

Whatever it was it kind of sounded hilarious; though that might be because of Tom’s slurred, sloppy tone adding into it.

 

Tom began to toss and turn despite Edd’s efforts to roll him up, so he just went over to him. Wiping at the gross slobber that was on his face to only get a slap.

 

Thankfully it was just a weak, drunk slap aimed at his hand and not at his face, which would, admittedly be pretty funny as well.

 

“ _pendajO_!” Tom cursed before rolling over and curling up, mumbling complete nonsense under his breath.

 

Edd gave him an incredulous but worried look, okay, that was a bit less amusing and more concerning.

Yet again it was pretty funny in Edd’s mind as he watched the hispanic try to go back to sleep angrily.

 

The young white male changed his focus once again, putting Tom’s phone away and trying to find the water cup he placed earlier, where the hell did it go?

 

The boy got so caught up with cleaning that the idea of a glass cup might of seemed like trash that he set aside. He hoped that wasn’t the case, still, he looked around for the cup and tried to remember where he’d last put it.

 

Despite the start of anxiety he actually found it on Tom’s desk, set upright on top of a notebook that was used as a coaster. Thankfully no water actually got on it either, that would be a waste.

 

As Edd moved the glass off the notebook, it caught his attention. This was Tom’s notebook.

 

At first Edd contemplated if he should look, he had been snooping a lot today. Something that he didn’t usually do but here he was, snooping through Tom’s stuff.

 

The book was actually filled with writing, all with quotes and messages similar to what he’d seen earlier.

  


_“We cut our skin writing apologies for the trees that gave us every breath to hold”_

  


_“We fill our cars with the scent of pine needles-- but we kill the pine forest for the roads”_

  


These were the most recent and the most concerning he’d ever read from Tom. Most of his work was philosophical, but this was so much darker. So much… It was realistic, emotional and raw. The sloppy handwriting that gave away the rush to write it down like the possible hundreds before it.

 

Edd gulped and glanced at Tom, a concerned frown on his face. He could continue reading and possibly stress the art and meaning of it or he could just distract himself from something he’d eventually learn.

 

Yet he felt like it was wrong, he shouldn’t be reading Tom’s notes, he should wait to get to know Tom more, and discover these things when Tom was ready!

 

But he was already flipping the page, reading the next page of rambles.

  


_“People’s words are like ink on our skin but only parents can leave words in like razors”_

 

_“Dogs are a product of a man’s insecurity about his superiority. While pet birds are a straight call for control.”_

 

_“Why the fuck does humanity choose not to improve and run from change when we know its our downfall?”_

 

_“We don’t contemplate people’s happiness until we see them dead”_

 

_“Why is the color red romantic when it’s the color of blood? Why do we romanticize pain when it’s something we avoid?”_

 

_“Nobody really questions why babies cry, probably because they can’t tell you why either”_

  


Edd grew interested, captivated by the lack of fantasy and more wrapped in the dark reality. But then again, none of it was actually positive.

 

As interested Edd was in the notes, he was growing more and more concerned as he read through them, what inspired the poetry? What had caused so much pain that the only way to can express his pain is through metaphorical and rhetorical questions?

 

Fuck now Edd was starting to sound like him, well that wasn’t particularly a bad thing anyway.


	16. "You worry me"

 

Edd watched over Tom as he himself relaxed, eventually pulling his sketchbook out of his backpack to the finish drawing of Tom from yesterday. It wasn’t that much of a drawing, more of a portrait, sloppily sketched but realistic enough. He just wanted to capture his true image! That’s all.

 

It wasn’t just the fact he examined each of Tom’s features for a long period of time without it being weird or anything...

 

The artist in him always enjoyed the sound of pencil against the canvas, etching away and leaving a trail that wasn’t always easily removed. Edd always had a war with each masterpiece, from awful erasers that left a trail of pink or an unremovable smudge. Or the broken pencils or accidental streaks.

 

As his eyes focused on shapes and patterns, he found himself adding more and more until he took a moment to realize that the drawing was finished.

 

The drawing was placed up on Tom’s wall, taped up by using the cheap dollar canister he found in his desk drawer along with other school supplies Tom held and probably never used for class.

 

With that set up nicely and neatly, he went back to Tom and his sketchpad.

 

He began to draw again, making a more comical version; more stylized to his unique, artistic ways. Big eyes and a silly grin. Fuck yeah,  Perfect.

  
  


Before he realized it, he had finished up the entire page of random doodles of just Tom; mostly of him having pineapple hair. It was funny! 

 

But his mood turned sour when Tom began to toss and turn, clenching his stomach with a grip like claws against skin and bone.

 

Tom hasn’t eaten for awhile.

 

‘You worry me’

Edd thought to himself before getting up and rummaging through his bag, searching for something to give to Tom. Painkillers, Nyquil, Pepto bismol? Maybe, if he could find any.

 

The Brit found himself holding a small baggie of factory made cookies, placing them by Tom before getting up to search the house for a bathroom. Mostly for any aspirin, but he also needed to piss.

 

Tom slowly sat up, his blurry eyes focused on the blankets that were wrapped around him before he finally regained consciousness, and he instantly grabbed the cookies. Ripping the bag open and devouring them without any hesitation. He was hungry! And thirsty now…

 

His mouth was dry from the chocolate and the cookie so he slowly got onto his feet, stumbling as he went to his desk to grab the glass of water; chugging it down.

 

The clear liquid poured down his chin, water flooding his throat and mouth and he didn’t care about the mess...he was truly a dirty slut for water.

 

Edd walked in to a cumb covered Tom who had water all over himself as well on the desk and his own clothing. And instantly burst into laughter at the boy who seemed so desperate for hydration.

  
  


When Tom noticed the cackling that Edd bust into, he became a bright red and began to dry himself off with his arms but to no avail.

 

He just groaned loudly before rushing to his blankets, using them to dry himself despite knowing the fact he’d have to wash them later.

 

“You know what?” Tom questioned after a hard sigh, his expression softening for a moment.

 

Edd tilted his head curiously, sniffling and rubbing his eyes as he tried to relax the butterflies in his lungs.

 

“ _ I wish I could hear your voice sometimes _ ” Tom admitted, making Edd become a bright red.

 

“But, I kinda wanna learn sign language. So we can talk easier!”

 

Edd was surprised, still blushing madly and quite distracted from the earlier statement but snapped out of it and nodded, signing to Tom.

 

‘Yes’  His arm was bent and his fist curled politely, nodding up and down.

 

Tom was confused, so he arched an eyebrow and raised an awkward thumbs up.

 

Edd nodded, grinning before texting Tom.

  
  


EDD: It means yes. Ill have to make you a chart sometime

 

Tom had to search for his phone, actually dropping it on the carpet from his frantic movement. He grabbed his phone off the ground and carefully read the males message before nodding and smiling.

 

“Sounds good, but shouldn’t you be home now? It’s late”

 

Edd: My parents said i can spend the night over

 

Tom was about to argue about his own parents but he gave in and nodded.

 

“Oh, okay”

 

Tom paused, trying to figure out what to do now. Sure he could just go to bed, or maybe he could get to know Edd some more.

 

TOM: wanna watch something on netflix?

 

EDD: Hell yeah! Hmm ever heard of… Aggretsuko?

 

TOM: That better not be a fucking anime I swear to god.

TOM: I will hadouken your ass into the nightosphere.

 

EDD: do IT NO bAllS

 

TOM: Shut up let me grab my shit

 

Tom put his phone into his pocket, searching his room for his tablet, he carefully grabbed it from under his bed and sat down on the bed, against the wall. Then patted the spot beside him for Edd who instantly joined him, crossing his legs curiously.

 

It took awhile to set up netflix and to find the show; it being an anime but at least only the animation style was the cliche japanese culture.

 

They relaxed, Tom getting up a few times to  grab snacks from the kitchen and some milk here and there but before they knew it; they had finished season one and their shoulders were pressed to each other; mostly due to Tom falling asleep again. Edd was sure not to touch the boy’s broken arm and cast. He actually put a pillow underneath it so Tom wouldn’t be sore in the morning; or at least when he woke up again.

 

Edd didn’t mind the warmth against him and stayed still, carefully choosing a new show to watch, eventually finding a random animal documentary, putting it on and lowering the volume for tom before sitting back and relaxing.


	17. "Boi"

 

Tom awoke with a mumble, his world snapped awake, Edd was shaking him and the morning sun certainly didn’t help when he tried his best to ignore it.

 

Tom’s parents were home, Edd had already explained the situation and wanted Tom to wake up and eat breakfast.

 

Edd rolled his eyes as Tom whined, trying to roll away from Edd on his bed regardless of his casted arm but alas, he met with the wall since his bed was against it and had nowhere to escape too.

Edd’s attempts to rouse him completely from his slumber. With no other choice, Tom very reluctantly sat up, ignoring Edd’s smug look as the hungover teen tried to get off the bed.

 

Of course Edd assisted him, supporting him up as he stood on two wobbly feet and a skewed sense of balance. 

 

The very familiar feeling of a hangover practically welcomed itself with Tom. The boy now stuck with the intense heaviness in his chest despite he’d been sobered up earlier. He must be malnourished , a proper breakfast might help so maybe Edd waking him up for said breakfast was a good idea after all. 

 

Even though Tom wished he could just sleep for the whole day, but then again he wouldn’t be able to hang out with Edd if he did that. And even then they needed food, both of their stomachs growling despite the trash food they ate during their movies.

  
  


Edd, someone who Tom would fully believe to be an angel in human form with how kind the boy was, continued to help him as Tom tried to regain his sense of balance as they traversed to the kitchen where real sustenance awaited for the both of them. 

 

Yeah, the trash food from last night’s movie marathon really wasn’t enough. 

 

The selective mute boy greeted Tom’s parents with a wave while Tom mumbled ‘Morning’ to them, they in turn just smiled and ushered both boys towards the kitchen table, breakfast still cooking but nearly done. 

 

The wonderful smell of actual food set off both of their stomachs into a growling fit and just justified their hunger. 

 

Breakfast was a silent affair, but it wasn’t really awkward as Edd ‘talked’ with Tom with the use of their phones, teaching him a few signs as they both ate and Tom trying to memorize and learn it, mostly for Edd’s sake but it was cool to learn another language. 

 

It was a challenge but he was certainly willing to try.

  
  
  


TOM: Sorry, for last night.

  
  


EDD: actually it was all of yesterday but its okay dude :)

  
  


TOM: Anyway how did you sleep?

  
  


EDD: pretty damn good, just like those eggs

  
  


TOM: The food is not even ready yet though.

  
  


EDD: shut up i can taste it already 

  
  


TOM: fat “boi”.

  
  


EDD: at least im not anemic

  
  


TOM: wow okay rude.

  
  


EDD: step up mate, ill kick ur ass

  
  


Tom kicked edd’s leg gently and flipped him off under the table and Edd did the same right back to him.

 

TOM: bet

 

EDD: bet, lets go

 

TOM: backyard, 20 min. We gonna throw down yo

 

EDD: hell yeah !!!

  
  


Their food finally was finished, Tom and Edd getting sausage that smelled of maple that tasted of fried salami. Hashbrowns made from Yams and pepper that tasted what white people with dreadlocks would eat.

 

And then pancakes from the powder mix from costco. Fuck yeah lit.

  
  


Edd ate slowly, almost as if he was counting but of course Tom took his time too. He may be starving but he still felt sick and shaky so slow and steady it is.

But guilt began to pool in tom’s stomach, he already knew that edd was insecure and he didn’t want edd upset with him, or at all even.

  
  


TOM: I didn’t really mean to call you fat i was just joking

 

EDD: dude i know lol im just trying to figure out how the fuck you eat pancakes  _ without _ syrup

  
  
  


Tom facepalmed, right. Normal people eat it with milk and syrup. Tom got up, searching the kitchen cabinets. He found the old bottle and handed it too edd before pouring him a glass of milk and some water for himself.

 

Edd was entranced, Tom was able to hold two cups in one hand, using his palm and fingers with practiced ease that he’d never seen before.

 

Edd snapped a picture and Tom shot him a glare.

  
  


EDD: i couldnt help myself you look like a barista!

  
  


Tom checked his phone and rolled his eyes before setting the cups down.

 

“What are you a photographer?”

 

EDD: what are you a philosophical nihilist who’s afraid of consistence?

 

Tom read over the message before glaring up at Edd who had a smug grin.

 

“15 minutes left until i kick your ass”

 

Edd nodded politely before turning to his fresh cup of milk, chugging it down before sitting up. He’d finished his own plate and ate Tom’s sausage already. But Tom didn’t notice nor would he care.

 

“Backyard, I’m gonna kick your asshole”

  
  


Edd grinned, putting their plates in the sink before following Tom to the small backyard that was simply just desert that was filled with cacti.

 

Tom was about to put his fists up but Edd picked him up and just held him upside down over his shoulder.

The hispanic struggled and twisted, trying to get away but Edd held him tightly, bouncing around a bit to make Tom dizzy and it worked immediately because Tom tapped out, whining and complaining.

 

“Put me dOWN”

Edd did so, laying him down on the sandy ground and Edd put a balanced foot on well more like over his chest.

 

Edd quickly signed to him; I win

 

Tom signed back begrudgingly; you win

 

With that edd got off of him and helped the boy back up who punched Edd’s shoulder playfully but angrily. 

 

“Next time I’ll win”

 

Edd grinned, winking before pulling his phone out.

 

EDD: maybe, if you put on a few pounds “boi”


	18. "so much slang, dang"

Tom faked a dramatic gasp before playfully punching his shoulder with an entertained smile and Edd happily returned it; nudging Tom with a mischievous grin.

 

The two exchanged a grin, that was until Edd began to type on his phone.

 

_ It wasn’t for Tom. _

 

Tom felt a pang for jealousy, he usually wasn’t one to be clingy but he thought Edd was a loner! Just like him!

 

“Who are you texting?” The hispanic male questioned curiously, leaning in with a grin.   
  


Edd just shrugged and smiled up at Tom, Edd had already closed out his conversation 

before responding.

  
  


EDD: jealous much? He’s  _ just _ a friend

  
  
  


“Surrreee”  Tom rolled out before crossing his arms enviously but he sighed and gave up with a slight shrug, looking away at his Bass.

 

that made Edd grow a bit annoyed due to Tom’s jealousy. Yet, Edd could understand. Tom was lonely-- he sure  _ seemed _ like it.

 

EDD: he’s asking if he wants to hang out, do you wanna come with us? 

 

TOM: I need to practice.

 

EDD: hes in band too! Just bring ‘em along

 

TOM: My wrist is broken. 

 

EDD: you were planning to play anyway

 

TOM: ugh fine. I’ll come. Lemme just pack my shit and take a shower

 

Edd looked up at tom with a small smile and nodded, letting the boy search for fresh clothes before he shuffled off to the shower, the boy eyeing the plastic bag he took with him, it was probably just for his arm.

 

The preparing male distracted himself, packing his stuff as well and refilling his water with the sink in the kitchen before sitting down and thinking. Okay, what can he do now?

Edd nearly jumped when his phone rang;

 

TOM: where are my shades?

 

Edd paused, thinking before looking around. Noticing the pair of reflective sunglasses that seemed straight out of the 80s.

 

EDD: on your desk, by the pencil cup!

 

TOM: thanks man

 

A light bulb lit above Edd’s head with an idea.

Edd grinned mischievously before getting up, grabbing the boys shades before placing them up on the shelf above the desk; where Tom wouldn’t reach.

 

Another idea struck edd and the boy quickly sent his friend the picture of the passed out drunk Tom to them, grinning mischievously as the other typed out his reply.

 

MATT: omg lol who is that???

  
  


EDD: This is Tom, He’s coming with me to hang out!

  
  


MATT: oooooooooooooooooo you like hiimmmm ;)

 

Edd paused, obviously flustered. His pale skin turning a rosy pink due to the idea of them being together but all of that sunk when he recalled the previous night where Tom became a literal mess.

 

EDD: he’s too busy for that, me too tho

 

MATT: surreeeee baby boy ;)))))

 

MATT: you two should date you two look cute togetherr

 

EDD: you haven’t even seen his face yet ya tosser

 

MATT: ew ur right i bet he’s gross lol

 

EDD: i forget how casually racist you can be 

 

MATT: rubbish!! i have a norwgian friend so im not racist

 

EDD: sure buddy

 

EDD: anyway he’s taking a shower rn so we’ll be there soon

 

MATT: did he take a towel with him ? ;)

 

EDD: you seriously need to stop being around Tord so much

 

MATT: i bet his bein gay in the shower lol

 

EDD: his arm is broken 

 

MATT: kinky ;)

 

EDD: you are officially not allowed around tord anymore

 

MATT: ur not my dad!! >:C 

 

EDD: not yet but ya mum will be up the duff because of me and you’ll have a lil bro

  
  
  


Edd took a moment, looking up to see a freshly groomed Tom who was at the doorway.

His previously bleached hair was already beginning to fade, his roots visible as a dark brown. His had his hair up like usual, he wore a blue hoodie, like usual and grey jeans.

 

His cast seemed perfectly dry, good.

 

“Where are my shades” The male questioned rather angrily and Edd happily pointed to the shelf above the desk.

 

“I  _ fucking _ hate you” Tom replied before going to his desk, getting up on the chair, climbing onto the earlier mentioned item before finally reaching his shades and pencil jar.

 

“Dick” The hispanic muttered when he saw Edd pointing his camera at him, immediately placing his shades back on with furrowed eyebrows.

He knew Edd purposely put his shades up so high just to make him seem short. Being under 5’5 was not short. It was perfectly normal.

 

With that, Tom went over to the love of his life, grabbing susan and carefully placed her into her case that was beside it. Then carefully put the strap on before approaching Edd with an aggravated stare.

 

“Let’s go already”

 

Edd put a finger up, creating a group chat for Edd, Tom and Matt.

  
  
  


EDD: this is Matt he’s a fit bloke

 

MATT: who?

 

TOM: He sounds like a retard.

 

MATT: omg ur meannn :(((

 

MATT: like tord!!! :D

 

TOM: what the fucking shit

  
  


EDD: shut up you chav, Let’s meet up at the jack shack

 

MATT: meet you there! ;)

 

EDD: you literally live there

  
  
  


With that, they began to walk. Tom stayed close to Edd, eventually pulling out a flask from his pocket that caused Edd to grimace, he really didn’t want Tom to get fucked up with and around Matt.

 

Edd quickly messaged Tom, but to no avail. He didn’t bother checking his phone and just assumed it was matt, a boy who was  _ already _ a pain in the ass.

 

But out of desperation to keep Tom sober, he tried to get his attention.

 

Signing; can i have some?

 

Tom didn’t understand and just looked at Edd blankly.

 

“Eh?”

 

Edd pointed to the flask, then to his mouth. Asking for a drink, but was quickly denied by Tom who shook his head.

 

“We can stop at a store or something later to get you some soda  _ mijo _ ”

 

Edd found his chest tightening at the spanish, at least he knew what that meant. Then he remembered something. He quickly tapped Tom’s shoulder, then pointed at his own phone. 

 

Tom obliged and took out his own phone to see the messages.

  
  
  


EDD: mate it’s like 3 in the afternoon

 

EDD: you were speaking a lot of spanish when you were plastered, what the hell were you saying??

 

TOM: probably for you to stop laughing or something, like holy fuckin hell as if i can remember.

  
  
  


Edd glanced over at Tom who just shrugged and grinned smugly, god dammit. It WAS something dirty then; The pale boy instantly turned red again, looking away bashfully to look back at his phone.

  
  


EDD: you are such a dick,

 

TOM: and you’re an asshole.

 

EDD: gay

 

TOM: okay, I agree _ that is _ pretty gay

 

EDD: we fit together so wellllllll aww ;)

 

TOM: oh god now there’s  _ two _ Matt’s

 

TOM: Fuck that. Disgusting.

 

EDD: i'm kidding! Jk jk 

 

TOM: Suree you are.

  
  
  


 


	19. "Old enemies, still fucking enemies"

 

Tom looked back up at edd, giving him a smile and a soft laugh.

 

“Dork”

The male stated, getting a playful nudge by Edd who rolled his eyes in response. But inside, Edd agreed and couldn’t help but smile. His heart fluttered and he felt a warmth grow in his stomach, It made him happy. It made his whole world become a bit lighter on his shoulders.

 

And all it took was a word from a boy he felt so strongly about.

 

“ _ Dork _ ” Edd replied simply with a smile, causing Tom to turn a bright red. Yet, he couldn’t hear Edd’s voice. But at least he could  _ imagine _ what he would sound like.

 

“I bet you sound like a cliche white gay kid” Tom snickered, fidgeting with his hands awkwardly in attempt to distract his gaze.

 

The brunette took a moment, looking down at Tom and his flustered appearance. To relax the boy, he spoke again.

 

“Kinda like a casual brit really, you sound like an american. A little bit, exotic really”

 

Tom followed his lips, relaxing a bit before looking down.

 

“Really?”

 

Edd nodded and smiled, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. 

 

Tom focused back up ahead, noticing the new neighborhood they were now in. He noticed a ginger male he’d seen before; relaxing in a hammock in the front yard, sun tanning without a care in the world despite being much more paler than Edd and susceptible to a terrible sunburn.

 

The two boys approached the distracted boy, Edd just grabbed the hammock and lifted it to make Matt fall on the ground; a startled yelp escaping from the shirtless male.

  
  


“Blimey! What the hell ya wanker!” Matt cursed to get a snicker in return from Edd.

 

Tom just hid his hands in his hoodie pockets; watching the two. He couldn’t help but feel amused by their bickering.

 

Matt just huffed, dusting himself off of all the dirt that was now on his bare, slightly sweaty skin. Yet Tom couldn’t help but stare at the nicely built male. He wasn’t jacked or anything; but he did have a nice toned structure. It kinda made Tom feel insecure about his own stick body.

 

Edd pulled out his phone, going to the group chat.`

 

EDD: So what now?

 

EDD: are we still up to check out that building tord found?

 

TOM: Wait Tord is here?

 

MATT: yeah! Hes inside tho. He said it’s too hot out.

 

TOM: pussy.

 

EDD: agreed

 

MATT: hey! He’s from norway!!

 

EDD: yeah but that was years ago

 

TOM: He should get used to it, or at least dress appropriately instead of that dumb red hoodie.

 

EDD: i agree with Tom, couldn’t you give him a tank top or something??

  
  


Matt looked up from his phone and groaned loudly, adding Tord to the chat.

 

TOM: sup fucker.

 

TORD: who are you

 

EDD: don’t worry ‘bout it. We’re going to the building and youre coming.

 

TORD: not yet, but i’m almost there

 

MATT: haha lol 

 

TOM: The only climax you’ll ever reach is in a porno that you’ll watch for the hundredth time with yourself and a bottle of extra soft body lotion. Come outside you pussy.

 

EDD: ooooo burn! 

MATT: i kinda like this guy lol

 

TORD: fuck you guys

 

TOM: Come out of the closet already.

 

EDD: yeah man, the closet isn’t meant for cum rags!

 

MATT: wooowww lol 

 

TORD: hahaha FINE

  
  


Tom looked up from his phone to see Tord walking out, he wore only sandals, swim shorts and a hoodie. He looked absolutely ridiculous.

 

“Dude what kind of outfit is that?” Tom questioned, holding back his laughter.

 

Matt just groaned, shaking his head.

“Tord take off that hoodie! Put on the shirt i gave you-- those two don’t go together you div!”

 

Tord just responded with a scoff and crossed his arms.

 

“Fuck you, no.  Hoodie stays on”

 

Matt whined loudly, crossing his arms right back at him. Childishly mimicking Tord.

 

“Stop being so stubborn!”

 

“Stop testing me! The hoodie is not coming off!”

 

“It covers your tank-  **not enough!** ” Tord interrupted angrily, dramatically shaking his hand.

 

Edd rolled his eyes and placed a hand on Matt’s shoulder, shaking his head.

 

“Ugh fine. Let’s get going” The ginger retorted disdainfully. He really didn’t want Tord going out in that atrocious outfit. But Tord was determined to keep on the ugly jacket.

 

“There, let’s go.” Tom muttered, cracking his knuckles to only get a glare from the stubborn Norwegian.

 

“Hahaha really we brought the deaf kid?” Tord snarled at Matt then at Edd with a glare. 

_ “It’s hard enough dealing with you.” _

 

Tom twitched and glared at Tord in return, alright, so maybe-  _ maybe _ , Tord could get away in calling him a deaf kid- actually,  **_no_ ** . He had already pissed him off as it was but Tord could insult him all he wanted, but going after  _ Edd _ ? There would definitely be some serious problems here.

 

Matt noticed the burning rage that grew in Tom, so he went to Tord’s defense. Like always; he put his hands up and a loose arm around his waist.

 

“C’mon guys! We’re all friends here!” 

 

Something Tom seriously doubted but let the ginger continue.

 

“Let’s just go! Tord-- Lead the way”

 

Tord kept eye contact with Tom before starting to walk, the male shuffling through his hoodie pockets to pull out a pack of cigarettes, and Tom followed with pulling out his flask; creating an uneasy environment for Edd.

 

Matt was oblivious, happily strolling with his friends and even pulling out his phone to take random photos of anything that seemed interesting and that annoyed Tord the most.

 

“Hurry up! Do you want to get stuck there in the pitch black?”

 

The ginger shook his head and ran up ahead; practically against Tord as they walked.


	20. "What the FUCK"

When they reached the forest-- There was an uneasiness in the atmosphere.  Matt was caught aghast at the tremendous amount of trees, so thick that it seemed impossible to get through but without another second Tord moved forward; leading the way hastily.

 

Edd realized something about him, how brave and rash Tord was. How he just happily waltzed in as if there wasn’t danger, no danger of bears, thunder and death.

 

Tom noticed it too but through his hazed vision, he followed after; having to grab Edd’s sleeve to pull his drunk ass along.

“Hey!-”

 

Matt began but he was snatched by Edd, the three following after a rushing Tord; since he was practically running. Was there something? Tom had to keep a hand on his shades; trying to keep them from falling off but at the cost of his vision.

 

They three ran, getting attacked by branches and bushes until Tord finally stopped; suddenly freezing at an overhang to see a sinkhole of where used to be a gas station; now 15 feet below and coated in earth and plants.

 

The the boys starred, until Tom broke the terrifying silence.

 

“What… the FUCK?!” 

 

His voice ran, echoing through the forest that was interrupted by Tords shuffling, the male sliding down the decline by just his sandals; not answering the boy. Matt was horrified at the dirt; refusing to go down.

 

“I am not getting dirt all over me- there’s mud too!” The ginger protested, looking back at his newly washed clothes, but Tom wasn’t in the mood to argue; so he just grabbed his sleeve and pulled him down with him-- This caused Edd to panic.

 

Tom had a  **broken** arm!

 

But Edd didn’t get a choice now; Tord was at the bottom and already moving up ahead; so he had to follow-- Practically running on loose sand the whole way down. It wasn’t easy being heavy!

 

Thankfully, Edd was caught by Tord who just snatched his jacket and pulled him back and off the ground.

 

“Jesus fuck Tord are you  _ trying _ to kill us?”

 

Tord faced Tom with a grin, shrugging his shoulders.

 

“If I was trying…  _ You’d be dead already _ ”

 

That sent a shiver up Tom’s spine but the others brushed it off as a joke; Matt laughing as well.

 

“Haha- Oh Tord you silly goof!” Tord just faked a grin and nudged Matt with his elbow casually.

 

“Yup- you know me!  _ Just classic, silly Tord _ ”

 

Edd wasn’t as convinced, but he trusted Tord. He did know him pretty well. Not that much though, but more than Tom; obviously.

 

“This Div got his dick stuck in a cola can once!-” Matt was interrupted by a Tord who hushed him angrily; covering his mouth with an awkward grin with gritted teeth; muttering to Matt.

“Hey! that’s  _ our _ little secret, you idiot”

  
  


“Okaay” Tom muttered in attempt to distract himself from the upcoming terror that he felt; so instead he looked up at the abandoned building that was barely in one piece. If it weren’t for the vines and plants; it would just be rubble.

  
  


The gas station that used to stand was unbearably attacked by the weather; the paint being faded, chipped and washed away. The bricks broken and hardly even upright, mold had quickly settled in along with dust and dirt. The glass doors seemed to barely be on their hinges but Tord began to open them.

 

The loud, lingering screeching of the doors certainly affected the boys; except for Tom. He just stared and watched as the boy struggled to move the pebbles and rubble away from the door.

 

“How did you even find this place?!” Matt questioned, his blue eyes wide with surprise as well as horror. He certainly didn’t want to go in there-- It was filled with dust, spiders, cobwebs and god knows what else!

  
  


Tord just held the door open against the broken wall; the glass shattered walls that once held a form of comfort for what used to be the daily visitors, now it just added to the whole terror-esque feeling of the entire ruined establishment.

“Get in losers.”

 

Edd clung to Tom, trying to grab his cast safely but of course; he pulled his camera out, switching on the flashlight in an attempt to see what could be in front of them in the eerie darkness.

 

With the help of Edd’s torch, they made their way. Or at least attempted to do so as safely as they could.

 

The ground was littered with debris and dust as well as leftovers of what used to be food and drinks on the ground, rotten and scattered everywhere.

 

Matt looked like he was about to vomit, the feeling of his shoes sticking to the floor from the dried up soda and various sugary drinks that either exploded or broke open when the the ground caved in. The smell of the area was not helping either.

  
  


Tord had pulled out his phone as well to see; walking ahead and practically left behind everyone else.

 

“Pinche pendejo….” Tom cursed angrily under his breath, trying to see in the darkness and through his damned shades. But unfortunately, shades plus darkness was never really a good combination.

 

Of course, with Edd’s hands wrapped around his casted arm; he felt some form of security, even if he could feel Edd’s grip through the layers.

 

“Blimey! what the hell even happened here?”

Tom took a moment, then he looked back at Matt who was trying to walk through shattered glass. Carefully making his way across the floor.

 

“Cenote… a sinkhole. The ground collapsed and the gas station came down with it”

 

Matt was about to reply with a confused look but he heard shuffling, and a low hiss from nearby.

 

“You hear that?” Matt whispered, Tom just stared at him.

 

“No I fucking Don’t.-”

 

Edd shook Tom a bit; signing. ‘I hear it’

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	21. "Coward!"

 

“Hear what-” Tom was interrupted by Matt screaming in terror, Edd and Tom instantly clinging to each other out of fear; to only notice a momma opossum and her babies. The fuzzy creature had her jaw slacking; showing off her numerous, sharp teeth and round face.

 

She was just walking, strolling with six tiny babies clinging to her back. There was nothing to be afraid of and the thought of being scared of practically nothing infuriated Tom.

 

“Matt you fucking cunt-” Tom was interrupted by a hand shooting out from the chips aisle, grabbing Matt’s leg and bringing him down with a thud and now all three of the boys were shrieking. 

 

Edd was so tightly hugging Tom’s waist that it brought pain to Tom who returned the grip onto Edd’s jacket. The two petrified boys clung onto each other like frightened children; but yet again that’s exactly what they were. 

 

But the moment of horror was stopped by Tord’s slavic laughter, cackling as he rolled on the ground. With high pitched giggles that sounded similar to a dolphin.

 

“du tre er slike  _ fiender _ !  feiging ! ” The male cackled before getting up and pushed the cheap aisle out of the way, causing Matt to scoot back against the freezer doors so Tord could reveal himself. He was hunched over, gripping his stomach with stifled twittering. 

 

The ginger had to grip his shirt, panting heavily and gasping for breath. His face was pale but red at the ears and nose as well as his eyes that were bloodshot from shock.

 

“Tord!” Matt cursed, breathing heavily due to his strained throat.

 

Edd let go of Tom hesitantly before looking at Matt who had tears in his eyes, the boy was traumatized. 

 

The brits concern grew rapidly; matt was an childhood friend and he knew Matt wasn’t one for being so scared. So without another thought he let go of Tom and rushed to Matt, trying to calm him down and wipe away at his tears.

 

Tom was slightly hurt by Edd leaving his side so easily but that quickly turned to anger towards Tord.

 

“What the fuck Tord-- Why did you do that?! You could of given him a heart attack!”

 

“Oh, shut up!” Tord snapped back, but Tom’s rage ceased at the sound of Matt sniffling-- poor idiot was so scared. Yelling wouldn’t help him either.

 

Edd was trying to calm him, but he kept stammering and whimpering like a child. He was scared, he wanted to just go home. Edd wanted to go home as well, but he didn’t want to look like a coward.

 

The hispanic wanted to snap again at Tord, but decided against it. He was too tired of fighting.

 

Tom just emptied his flask into his stomach, then proceeded to search the place. And he happily found what he wanted; vodka. Sure there was numerous bottles of various types but he just wanted vodka. So he opened up the freezer door that was lukewarm to grab the room temperature alcohol.

 

_ “Children who are mature for their age is because they’re too traumatized to enjoy their childhood”  _ Tom muttered under his breath, carefully filling up his flask before closing it and shoving it into his pocket.

 

“Oh shut up what are you-- Aristotle?” Tord snapped, his face a bright red due to the conflict of Matt crying, Tom drinking and Edd panicking. This was all going to hell.

 

“I’m more of a Karl Marx follower- el burro!” Tom hissed but Tord grinned; crossing his arms with a curious smirk.

 

“Karl Marx huh? I didn’t know  _ Mexicans _ could appreciate his wo-” Tord was interrupted by Tom slamming the empty vodka bottle over his knee cap; the glass shattering and slicing both of the males.

 

Edd felt his eyes gloss over; his entire body growing stiff. He was frozen; staring at Matt who was taking deep breaths.

 

Tord just let out a cry, gripping his knee that was most likely ruined; and with the pain that shot up his spine created this trembling torture.

 

“Don’t call me a fucking mexican.”

 

“Du gjorde det klart! You made it clear- you made it clear!”

 

“Tom!” Matt cried out, getting up and running to Tord; noticing the minor bleeding due to the male’s shorts. 

 

“Tom go to Edd! Help him and I’ll carry Tord- You can’t carry me!” Tord interrupted to only get interrupted by the ginger lifting him up, carrying the male and held him to his chest. Ignoring Tord’s protests in norwegian.

 

Tom had to change his direction to the frozen brit, slowly approaching him.

 

“Hey….” Tom began, but couldn’t figure out what to say. So he went for a hug, trying to wrap his arms around Tom despite his broken limb.

 

“Breathe” Tom went for; trying to bring Edd back to reality. But as the room grew silent; The hispanic began to panic. His entire body tensing up at the atmosphere of chaos.

  
  
  


Tom snapped out of it when Edd was shaking him awake; Tord was standing; his leg wrapped up with ace bandages. He seemed fine, other than his casual anger towards Tom who was stained with tears. What happened?

 

Matt glanced at his phone, He had a timer going on.

 

“Thirty minutes and Twenty One seconds”

 

“What?...” Tom muttered before looking back at Edd who seemed fine. He had an awkward smile on his face in attempt to reassure Tom.

 

“You’ve been absent for thirty minutes” Edd explained quietly, placing a hand on Tom’s cheek.

 

“You gotta stop drinking like that. You almost threw up on me!” Matt exclaimed, dreadfully worried for his shirt.

 

“Yo no ... no drink mucho?” Tom muttered, his mind fuzzy and his legs tired and weak.

 

“Weellllllll- you drank way too much. Too fast.” Tord muttered, sitting down rather angrily.

 

“Did… Did i do that?” Tom questioned, pointing at Tord’s knee.

 

“No. I tripped because of Matt’s dumb ass, as if you could hurt me that much” 

 

Tom believed him, and laid against the freezer door, Matt was about to protest but was nudged and silenced.

 

“We need to get out of here, It’s getting dark” Tord muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.


	22. "Is Edd high?"

Tom nodded, but his mind felt fuzzy. His stomach swirled and his head throbbed. He didn’t want to move.  He could feel the bile gathering in his throat; nausea becoming his main issue.

 

Before he knew it, he was being carried off by Edd. Tom felt warm, and safe. But still sick.

 

“I loooooove you hombre.” Tom slurred into his jacket, but Edd said nothing and instead bit the inside of his lip awkwardly. Tom was just drunk, that’s all.

 

“I wuvvvvv youuuuuu~” Tom sang, Tord stifling his laughter. 

 

Edd felt his heart tingle but was in a shroud of despair, Tom wasn’t okay. He was too fucked up for love, or for feelings in general.

 

“Where are we going now?” Matt questioned, Edd shrugged but Tord spoke up.

 

“We will take Tom home, then we can all head back to our homes and act like nothing happened”

 

“Nothing?” Matt questioned, curious.

 

“Absolutely nothing. Tom didn’t come, we had plenty of fun and he didn’t black out drunk and sob for half an hour”

 

“But why?” Matt questioned persistently to get a slight punch from him.

 

“Because I said so.” The norsk snapped, getting irritated by all the questions.

 

“But-” Matt was interrupted by his phone going off, this time is wasn’t another instagram notification. His phone had been going off all day due to Matt never putting it on fucking silent.

 

“You should check that, maybe it’s your parents.” Tord muttered, already reaching for the male’s iPhone but he was interrupted by Edd who shoved him away from Matt.

 

“Aw come on-- you’re still mad at me?”

 

Edd’s angry glare assured Tord that he indeed was still pissed off for hurting Matt and pissing off Tom.

 

Matt pulled his phone out, seeing that his parents were calling him.

 

“All of you shut up it’s my mum” Matt warned before answering.

_ -“Hi dear!” _

 

_ “Hi mum!” _

 

There was silence,

  
  


_ “So why’d you call me?” _

 

_ -“Just wondering if you were okay!” _

 

_ “Im okay mum, just hiking with my friends” _

 

_ -“Oh well be safe honey! We’ll be having pizza for dinner. Why don’t your friends come on over?” _

  
  


Matt thought for a bit, Edd’s excited smile made him give in.

 

_ “Yeah they’ll come over, One of my friends are sick though so we might crash out” _

 

_ -“That’s okay honey! See you soon!I love you my darling” _

 

**_Click_ ** !

  
  


“Kiss ass” Tord muttered and Tom laughed in agreement.

 

“Aw shut up ya morons! At least I’m not an alcoholic or a complete asshole like you guys!”

 

Edd shrugged and grinned smugly. Pushing back the Insult directed at their intoxicated friend.

 

“I know what you’re thinking Edd- and I am  _ not _ an asshole! I am a dignified eccentric male” The ginger sniffed indignantly.

  
  


Tom just snickered, reaching out for Matt’s chin sloppily but was much too far to reach anyway.

“Ya a pinche es you fuckin’ ehhhhhhh culo” 

 

Matt was confused but Edd laughed, he knew a few of those words. 

 

“I didn’t know he was Mex-” Matt was interrupted by Tord; He didn’t want Matt getting his ass beat by Tom.

 

“He’s  **not** mexican. He just speaks spanish.”

 

“That’s weird”

 

“Says the guy who had to retake english  _ three _ goddamn times in grade school”

 

“That is preposterous!”

 

“And your presumptuous” Tord retalited casually, crossing his arms with a sly grin but flopped when he noticed Matt’s confused stare.

 

“What does- shut the fuck up already” Tord muttered, aggravated by Matt’s stupidity. But even then he was too moronic to notice the Norwegians anger.

 

Edd began to whine and nudge Tord’s side; his arms were sore from carrying Tom. At first, Tord tried to ignore him until he was nearly knocked over by an impatient brit.

 

“Ja ja fine-”  The male sighed, taking Tom from Edd and carried him over his shoulder-- until Tom began to gag so instead carried him bridal style.

 

“Fussy child.” and the ginger nodded in agreement, poking Tom’s cheek. “Cute little brown baby” Matt was interrupted by Tom attempting to bite his pale finger-- 

 

“Dumbass” Tord snorted before looking back at Edd who was stretching.

 

“Què? Ya is a big fuckin’... pee pee head” Tom was interrupted by Tord bursting into laughter- nearly dropping Tom with how hard he was breathing.

 

The boy in the dirty green hoodie pulled his phone out, recording the others with a beam of satisfaction; he enjoyed capturing these moments. 

 

It was nice, making their way to Matt’s home with a somewhat awake, drunk Tom. Yet, there was still the sense of dread inside of the brit. The way Tom would look around and search for him before relaxing back in Tord’s arms; like a lost animal.

 

When they reached Matt’s home; that was extravagant due to his privileged life unlike his other friends.Tord felt the same, his own home… well he didn’t want to think about it.

 

Edd had to bite back jealousy, and followed after Matt and Tord. Putting his phone away the second he caught a whiff of the cheesy goodness.

 

“Is… it fucking hawaiian pizza?” Tord snapped, while Tom just laughed, probably due to the sounds tord made when he was upset; huffing and whining.

 

“I like pineapple okay!” Tom continued to laugh, nearly rolling out of Tord’s arms. 

 

“Hey- stay still! You know what, fuck it” with that, Tord dropped Tom on the ground with a thud, Tom groaning a bit due to the impact on his broken arm and Tord was greeted with a scolding from Edd who punched his shoulder.

 

Tom didn’t care that much though, instead he sat up and snickered before standing up, leaning against Edd.

 

“Big protect” The male whispered seriously but Edd burst into laughter as well, shaking his head with a wide grin.

 

Matt was already eating at his pizza, holding a slice in his hand as he watched the two goofballs interact.

 

“Is Edd high?” 

 

“Shit, probably” Tord muttered in reply before grabbing his own slice, picking off the pineapple before eating away. He did enjoy the ham though, pork; bacon was his absolute favorite.

 


	23. "30.21"

 

Matt rolled his eyes at Tord’s sassy retort, he snatched up the discarded pineapple, happily eating up his scraps.

 

“Do you want some pizza or not?” Matt questioned, holding out a slice for his humored friend.

 

Edd scuttled over to Matt’s hand, quickly snatching it from him before going back to Tom who was laying on the ground; T posing.

 

“What the hell is he doin’?” Matt questioned, Tord just shrugged.

 

“He’s trying to assert dominance over the dust” He explained plainly, not bothering to look over at the ginger who was questioning him.

 

“Oh”

 

Matt paused, putting his pizza down before spreading out his arms, still sitting. This caused Edd to burst into laughter once again; choking a bit on his food.

 

“Matt- Submit motherfucker”  Matt interrupted before standing up on his chair, Still T-posing.

 

Tom cackled and rolled over; hurting his arm once again in the process.

 

“Matt if you do not sit down I _ will  _ break your kneecaps” Tord threatened coldly, clearly not playin’ these games.

 

Matt instantly sat back down, crossing his arms with an annoyed huff. Tom just kept laughing; snickering in the background.

  
  
  


Before they all knew it, the day was over. Tom dead asleep on the couch, Edd on a guest bed, Tord in the empty bathtub for god knows why and matt in his bed; tucked in by his ass-kisser of a mother.

 

The night was silent for the ones who were struck with insomnia and fear. Unable to relax, their own horrors of the day replaying in their minds.

 

Edd couldn’t stop thinking about him.

_ The sobbing. The shaking and the unresponsive silence. It wasn’t him. _

_ It was just a person, from a memory that he couldn’t remember.  _

_ Just a relapse after another, _

_ his consciousness dripping away with each minute before he finally snapped back into reality with a gasp and the sudden awareness of himself. _

 

“Children who are mature for their age is because they’re too traumatized to enjoy their childhood”

  
  
  


Matt laid in his bed, secure and comforted by the soft lining of his sheets and the clean, silky blankets that helped him stay cool.

  
  


_ But he couldn’t get the sight of blood out of his mind. _

_ All it took was a single phrase for Tom to snap-- sending a jagged bottle right into Tord’s legs with full intent on leaving him for dead. _

_ The anger. The true, hatred the two held for each other. _

_ But why? _

 

“Why is the color red romantic when it’s the color of blood? Why do we romanticize pain when it’s something we avoid?”

  
  
  


Tord laid in the empty bathtub. His chest tight, ribs smushed together and his heart pounding. He found it difficult to breathe.

 

_ He couldn’t get that feeling out of him. _

_ The feeling that slapped him in the face when Tom blacked out, completely gone as he cried like a pathetic, innocent child for almost a goddamn half hour! _

 

Tord couldn’t sleep. So he laid there, curled up in a ball with his face pressed into the tub as he listened to the water droplets.

 

_ “¡No podemos darnos el lujo de enviar a papá a rehabilitación! ¡Simplemente no podemos! ¡El viaje será demasiado largo! ¡No quiero ir!” _

 

His mind filled with the sound of Tom crying in his head.

  
  
  
  
  
  


Tom was head first into the cushions until he was shaken awake by edd and the smell of toaster strudels. The only good thing germany brought to the world.

 

“Hnnm” The hungover person grumbled, rubbing his forehead. But his simple awakening was interrupted when a figure wearing a red hoodie next to Edd splashed his face with ice cold water.

 

“Tord!” Edd scolded almost immediately as tom fell over; rubbing at his eyes.

 

“What? He needed water” Tord huffed before rolling his eyes and then threw a wrapped up poptart at Tom’s head.

 

“Tord!” Edd once again scolded, pointing a finger at the norsk rather judgmentally.

 

“Muckypenis” Tom mumbled before licking as his own cheek to catch a droplet of water. He was thirsty dammit!

  
  


Edd groaned dramatically and walked off to the kitchen to get Tom some water and food.

 

“Little, little man” Tord snickered, kneeling down next to his sickly friend.

 

Tom grunted in reply. But tord ignored him.

 

“Tiny. Tiny,  _ Tiny _ man”

 

Those words had little meaning, but they had so much hatred, anger and frustration towards him. And it honestly hurt, but tom was never the type to fight back. At least, not vocally.Despite his inability to hear, he could read his lips that were curled into a snarl, teeth gritted back forcefully and his fists clenched. In two ways, the boy was red.

 

The norsk placed his foot over tom’s broken arm; pressing down ever so slowly.

 

“Pathetic. Broken -” 

 

Tord quickly shuffled his foot off of Tom once hearing Edd’s footsteps close in towards the two.

 

The damaged male just laughed, that was tord’s weakness.

  
**_Edd_ ** .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IVE BEEN DEAD BUT AHAHAHAH GUESS WHOS FUCKIN BACK! i made this a promise and a personal goal to fucking finish this fic and i AM. yEET


	24. "Nice..."

“Tord leave Tom alone! Go bother Matt or something” Edd huffed but Tord rolled his eyes and laughed, he  _ knew _ Edd wouldn’t hurt him.

 

“Okay mom, jeez” He replied sarcastically, throwing up his arms dramatically with a bit of some jazz hand action before shoving them back into his hoodie pockets.

 

Matt laughed and crossed his arms. “Wait, I thought I wasn’t allowed to talk to Tord anymore?” He questioned smugly, recalling their previous text messages; but that caused Tord to raise his eyebrows.

 

Did… Edd really say that?

 

Tord shoved down that thought and forced a laugh perfectly, brushing off any of his visible confusion. He’d think more on that at a later time, he focused back on Matt.

 

“Oh as if! If anything It’s Tom you shouldn’t be around. After all,” He stopped to lift his injured leg, but Matt shrugged, carelessly.

 

“Nobody wears cargo shorts anymore, It’s too cold out and they’re out of season” he huffed, rolling his eyes. This reminded him of Matt’s rather… Feminine side but his stupidity made his blood boil.

 

“No I was trying to imply wha- never mind I fuckin' give up” Tord grumbled in defeat, crossing his arms stubbornly before an idea struck him and he hid a mischievous smile.

 

The norsk quickly grabbed Matt by his ear, pulling down to whisper secretively. Edd was oblivious to what Tord was saying to Matt.

 

Once the plan finally made it through the ginger’s hollow skull-- he let out a surprised gasp and nodded his head excitedly.

 

While the two conversed, Edd stayed focus on making sure Tom drank his fluids, concerned that he would neglect his health. After all, it was clear he would.

The first time edd had seen his home; it was dreadfully clear how horrible tom’s depression had gotten-- or has been throughout their friendship.

  
  


The puerto rican felt pain in both his body and mind, a single thought swarming his unbalanced mind and all in one big rush in attempt to get it out; It was a single string of hope, a quick rush of courage that rose before fear and before he could stop himself--

He carefully placed down the empty glass and carefully signed to Edd; avoiding the pain that struck him in his broken limb.

 

_ “I love you” _

The simple rock on sign with the thumb extended out-- waving to the side and back slowly. Awkward due to only practicing by a google search he’d done only a few days ago.

 

Edd laughed dismissively, shrugging before signing back with an awkward grin.

 

_ “I love you too” _

 

They stared at each other, Tom unsure if he could move in to seal the deal- or to just take Edd’s reply platonically.

 

But their moment was interrupted when Matt went up to Edd, whispering into his ear with a hand covering his mouth so Tom couldn’t read the ginger’s lips.

 

“I’ve got a plan, let’s  _ drag _ out Tom”

 

Now Edd wasn’t a very… flamboyant kind of guy, gay or not. However the idea of dressing up Tom’s face was rather humorous. Enough to practically throw out any second thoughts he had about Tom’s health and safety. They’d be sure to be careful with him anyway so might as well do it.

  
  


Tom was just sitting on the floor, confused and rather annoyed from the three obviously planning something about him, something really worrying due to how wide they were all grinning. Except for Tord, he just looked terrifying-- like always. There was just something about Tord that he didn’t like, probably, or most definitely, his face. He had too soft of a face for the rudest person he ever met.

 

“Hey!-” the protesting colored male was quickly pulled away by the two strong boys up the stairs and up into Matt’s perfectly decorated room, but EXTREMELY messy. Sure, he’d be considered a hoarder with all the beloved knicknacks most would consider junk if it weren't for the fact how well cared for-- and well displayed they were. 

 

When tom stepped in for the first time; he expected it to be Matt’s sister’s room. But it wasn’t! As the bright neon sign, in cursive shone “Matt” above his vanity dresser; he burst out into laughter.

“¿Y EL piensa que en realidad es un chico? ¡No puedo decir si esta es la habitación de su madre o sus hermanas! que maldita reina!”

 

Of course this made the other boys twist their faces into confusion. 

 

“Hva?” Tord muttered, confused. But then again he was too tired to try translating whatever the fuck Tom had said.

 

“Lo siento, lo siento pero, Dios mío” He laughed, shaking his head before being forced to sit in front of the vanity mirror by Tord and Matt. The light purple light’s made his irises shrink slightly; the very slight sliver of those rare, beautiful blue eyes came into view from the bright lights which was enough to distract the others.

 

A series of gasps escaped their lips, Tord even pulled out his phones flashlight to shine it in Tom’s face to see them shrink even more.

 

“ _ Nice _ ”

That was the first, genuinely nice thing Tord had ever said to Tom and it honestly made his heart skip a beat. He expected more cruelty-- but all he got was a gasp and awestruck eyes, stuck on his own.


	25. "CLICK"

Tom of course had to blink; which made the group snap out of their trance and move their lights away.

 

“I didn’t know you had blue irises!” Matt exclaimed, grabbing tom by his cheeks.

 

“We’ve got to do a blue theme then!”

 

“Isn’t his skin tone a bit too dark for that?” Tord muttered, “At least it is with baby blue. A darker shade like navy would just look weird due to the contrasting, or well. conflicting colors”

 

Edd laughed and nudged Tord for even knowing color theory.

 

“What? I like to paint. Fuck off” This caused Edd to grin even more; he loved to paint, well draw too!

 

“Stop smiling like that, you look weird” Tord muttered, clearly uncomfortable by the other’s sudden excitement. But his hurtful words towards Edd caused Tom to narrow his eyebrows in reply.

 

However, Edd didn’t notice the anger tom displayed and instead laughed more. Purposefully giving more of a toothy grin to mess with the other and in addition he pulled out his phone; texting Tord privately.

 

Tom once again narrowed his eyebrows furiously at the sight of the two conversing silently-

 

“Hey, relax your face” Matt huffed, patting his face with some primer.

 

Tom grumbled and obeyed, instinctively searching the depths of his pants for his flask-- to only find that it was partially empty. God- DAMMIT.

 

He smacked Matt’s hand away to chug down the rest to only get a concerned expression from attacked other, eyes set on tom as he shoved it violently back into his pocket.

 

But he said nothing.

 

“Okay, close your eyes and tilt your head back” Matt instructed softly, his fingertips gently placed on the other’s warm, flushed face.

 

He listened quietly to Matt’s directions. Only getting a few glimpses here and there.

 

For the first time in a long while, Tom felt somewhat at peace due to the gentle touches of physical attention, something he forgot that he had been craving for years.

 

But all of that was ruined when the attention ceased-- Matt’s phone going off which of course distracted him entirely. The ginger texting away with ambition and actual thought. Probably a fan of his.

 

That was enough for Tom to snap. With his face covered in foundation to cover up his scars and marks, as well as some contour he just grabbed his stuff and began to march out; Matt just simply watching him leave before looking over at Edd who was deep into his conversation with Tord.

 

It seemed that nobody cared, like always; so Tom continued his way home. Pulling out his nearly dead phone to pull up google maps to find his way to a place where he’d be ignored some more.

  
  


But that wasn’t the case-- when he paused the threshold of the outside world and his home; he was greeted with concerned murmurs and hugs. No scolding, No slapping no cursing; just worry and genuinely too.

 

Tom didn’t realize that he was so accustomed to being used and hurt that this was how it was supposed to be. Trust, love and undivided attention.

 

Memories rushed through his bones;  _ the loud, rowdy night where he was forced to stay inside after-school  during halloween because he was fearful that his parents would find him, they didn’t know that he had school on mondays. But it was a lovely memory, because the teachers let him have all the candy and food they had in the staff room. _

 

He was so used to being fearful, quiet and rude to defend himself.

 

Maybe, everything will be  _ okay _ .

  
  


Tom awoke the next morning with his phone going off violently-- trying to get his attention to awaken him at the scheduled time that he grew to hate with each hangover.

 

He reached over to silence the said electronic device to only see long, long paragraphs of un-erasable messages from Edd.

 

EDD: tom im so sorry i got distracted like that, still friends? Matt told me how you rushed off like that...

_ Delivered 9:25 pm _

 

EDD: it wont happen again i promise, i didnt want to upset you at all i promise! We were just talking about art and how we have the same class but never noticed! Please respond i know youre awake please please. I didnt know about tord and i was just trying t catch up with him since hes more of matts friend im sorry i shouldve given you my attention i didnt even notice you leaving and that was absolutely terrible of me i promise ill change for you please just dont go

_ Delivered 9:30 pm _

  
  


EDD: please tom please im really sorry i didnt mean to be such a fucking horrible friend

_ Delivered 2:45 am _

 

EDD: you deserve a better friend than my fat ass im sorry i shouldve been there for you 

_ Delivered: 5:02 am _

  
  


Tom took a long moment, reading through the typos before trying to respond with his blurry eyes before giving in to click the little “phone” icon.

 

**RING**

 

**RING**

  
  


…

  
  


There was a sniffle, then a quiet sob. And at the very second Tom sat up and felt his heart tremble in terror. He had never heard another person cry before. Other than himself and his mother.

 

“Edd, It’s okay. I get mad, even when I have no reason to be. We’re still friends, I promise! I just wanted to go home and drink because i got bored and honestly… I was just upset. Just, please for fucking god, get some sleep. Drink some water, I’ll be over soon... Okay?”

 

There was a moment, before another sniffle and the sound of cloth moving followed by a raspy.

 

_ “Ok” _

 

**CLICK**


	26. "No. It's not"

 

“You are absolutely useless!” A thundering voice boomed.

 

“You can’t even eat your fucking food right you little, fat piece of shit!”

 

There was a loud sound of something being smashed against the counter; along with dogs barking in response to the clamour.

 

“Look at you! Crying like a little baby, wahh wahh yeah _ shut up _ ! Nobody gives a single fuck about a little, spoiled brat like you! Why don’t you just sew your lips together so nobody has to hear your  _ ugly _ crying you noisy little whore!”

 

There was another sound; a sound of a foot kicking forward and a loud, muffled whimper from what sounded to be like a young child.

 

“You worthless little shit! Stop crying or I’ll give you a reason to cry!”

The child was unable to hold in another cry when another attack was aimed at his body.

 

“ _ SHUT UP! _ ”

 

“Okay Edd, I got you some water” Tom noted, gently placing the cup down on the floor in front of the boy who was wrapped up in a blanket. His body trembling pathetically, tear stains left on his flushed cheeks and red runny nose. The sight was heart wrenching.

 

“You don’t have to talk, or sign or anything. I just want you to hydrate, eat and relax”

 

Edd looked back up at Tom, then at his backpack before back up at Tom, who seemed rather focused on the him. Edd went to speak; but Tom interrupted his train of thought.

 

“Fuck school. This shit is way more important”

 

“ _ No _ it’s not…” Edd mumbled silently, “School is more important”

 

This caused Tom’s heart to tremble, the fact that so many people thought that their grades equaled their worth; their life. Their health and everything they fought for.

 

“Listen up, I’m an A plus fucking student with dead parents and absolutely no will to live but i make sure that each morning i wake up and make fucking sure i can handle it before i decide to fling myself into the  _ war-zone _ of a world out there. If you don’t have the legs to walk and no wheelchair, why the fuck would you get out of bed? So you can fall?”

 

Edd stayed still; looking down at the glass before picking it back up. The anxiety attack he had the other night had caused him to lose most of his fluids.

“We send feeble children to a place where the ground is unpaved and cracked from the gunshots the fallen filled the walls with. You don’t need to go to school. It’s not safe.”

 

Edd listened, fully to his possible entirety to let his message sink through. Then suddenly he wrapped the other into a tight hug; pressed face into the crook of Tom’s neck where the soft, tender scars rested.

 

Tom’s breath hitched, afraid. Afraid of pain and hurt. The urge to put up his walls and run away became unbearably strong before he found a warm hand on his back; pressing him closer. 

 

Then he let go, carefully moving his arms and hands to sign a single message: “That’s only because you lived in america”

 

Tom took a long moment to spell it all out before looking down at his hands.

 

_ The faint, faint scars on his body from the impact of the drunk driver’s windshield smashing into his window; front end crushed and his right side completely ruined by the crushing force of the front end of the vehicle that had ruined his body, and life. _

 

But his attention snapped back to Edd when the boy placed a hand on his shoulder; causing him to smile gratefully.

 

But that was stolen from him when a knock on the door distracted the two; of course Edd got up to open it up without checking; to only be attacked with a plastic bag.

 

“C’mon fuckers, Mental health day. Let’s get a party going” Tord chuckled smugly, tossing another bag to Tom but he nearly fell; he wasn’t expecting a 12 pack of cans!

 

Edd carefully opened up the bag to find a pack of glass mexican coca cola and bottle of wine; clearly for Matt.

 

Tom searched through his custom bag to only find beer, ugh.

“ _ Really _ ?” Tom questioned for Tord to only burst into laughter.

 

“Those are for all of us! Got ya huh?” He teased before opening his own bag to hand Tom a bottle of cheap vodka and some whiskey for himself. A sigh of relief left tom at the sight of much harder liquor -- however Edd seemed uncomfortable from it all.

 

“Even someone like  _ you _ couldn’t even enjoy some fermented wheat-” Tord’s sass was interrupted by Matt nudging him; clearly making sure he didn’t start shit again.

  
  


“While I’m at it why don’t you just shoot me” Tom grumbled before opening up the bottle with his teeth despite tord having his own makeshift bottle opener. Damn.

 

He was surprised, and tried to copy but stopped midway when Tom began to take a long slug and before he could hold it back; a series of chants began to fill the room.

 

**_“Chug, CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG!”_ **


	27. Burnt Copper

 

Edd watched with worried eyes as Tom chugged down the alcohol completely before hitting the ground with a thud.

 

Tord ran to him, along with the others. But he was out cold; so the strongest of the three: Edd picked him up and placed him onto the couch before returning to the group. However, Tord was already selecting music to play, since Edd was too busy to stop him. After all that commie would choose norwegian trap music loud enough to wake a blackout drunk. 

 

“Pat the bunny; Take me by the hand” began to play full blast but he had to admit; This may be american, but it was pretty damn good. Teenage rebellion.

  
  


“This shit is a bop!” Matt called out over the music, trying to listen to the lyrics that stayed true to what rebellion meant and what anarchy was for. However, their moment was ruined by Edd hitting the pause button only then to cross his arms judgmentally.

 

He wanted to know, things. Something. But Matt had already started on his blueberry-pomegranate mix wine and Tord was sipping on his whiskey long before he was just tipsy, so of fucking  _ course _ they didn’t realize the music was even off as they danced mindlessly. 

 

The mature one of the three just groaned and cracked open the cola bottle over the counter. Then began to practically savour it with tiny sips as the hours passed of him scrolling through his phone and sitting by Tom who showed no attempt to wake up from his blackout style of rest.

 

Before the other two knew it, they were passed out by the foot of the couch; but Edd picked up Tord and carried him to his backyard. He tossed him onto the abandoned trampoline he had, then returned to Matt to lay him in the bathtub.

 

But as Edd went to turn the knob on the hot water; His attention was snapped by a mutter.

 

“Fucking hell, my head hurts.”

 

Edd nearly screamed at the sight of a still somewhat-wasted tom. His hair slightly limp and his body wobbly. He looked like he was ready to collapse-- as if there was this heavy weight in his head and chest that caused it to be nearly impossible to hold up.

 

“It smells like burnt pennies in here..” Tom mumbled before blacking out once again; thankfully he was caught by Edd’s arms who helped him slowly lay onto the tile floor.

 

Edd just stared at Tom. He was feeling slightly overwhelmed, having to deal with all of his drunk friends. He almost didn't mind, but with Tom showing up out of nowhere, it shook him a bit. He glanced to his hands and noticed their slight tremor. 

 

With a quick memory of how Tom showed him how to healthily recover; he got to his feet and marched into the kitchen to get himself some water.

 

Hydration was important. Especially if you cried a lot. And if you were Edd, he cried a lot.

 

As the time passed, Edd finished his cola and water; made some mac and cheese for himself to nearly eat the entire serving by himself as he watched his drunken friends from the dining room. For hours and hours, they stirred and rolled over but showed very little signs of waking.

 

Edd blinked slowly, drowsiness making his vision blurry. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, resting his head in his hands His world turning into a comforting sleep. However his slumber was interrupted by the grotesque sounds of someone filling the kitchen sink with whatever remained in their stomachs.

 

Then the following cry and strings of complaints which made himself cringe. Then it stopped, Edd opened his eyes to see Matt puking and crying. But the mess on his shirt made himself gag in disgust.

 

“No, it can't be! My beautiful shirt is ruined!” Matt whined, tears soaking the collar of said shirt. 

 

“Hold kjeft!” Tord interrupted, on the floor with his arms wrapped around his pained stomach.

 

Edd rolled his eyes. So it’s round 2 of dealing with these idiots. He wouldn't admit it, but he was rather annoyed with these lot. He shook his head, disappointed in his friend’s decisions. Then he remembered, Tom was alone in the bathroom! He stood and rushed into the bathroom, finding the boy.. still passed out on the floor.

 

He felt pity on the boy, so he picked him up carefully; straining his back a bit from the awkward position Tom laid in, curled up like a ball.  And with that; he pushed the mess off of the couch to lay Tom onto it. But there was a slight grip on Edd’s sleeve.

 

Tom didn’t want him to leave. But Edd knew, he had to leave eventually. So he pulled Tom’s hand off his sleeve; breaking their connection so he could return to Matt. But Matt was too busy trying to undress himself so he could sloppily wash his clothes in the sink-- That was gonna be impossible to clean up. At least Edd thought.

  
  


This was going to be one hell of a morning and he certainly didn’t want to be a part of it. But then again; they were in his home. So what could he do?


	28. Nothing. Or something?

He did what he always did. He had to get up, go to the bathroom to grab the plastic can for tord; placing it by the groaning husk before going to Tom who seemed ultimately fine. At least, this wasn’t very different from the usual. But that saddened Edd-- wasn’t he in pain?

 

Shit!

 

Edd facepalmed in realization that they were all going to have major headaches and migraines. And he didn’t have enough pills for them all!

 

Then again he couldn’t just go and get some during school hours! Edd grew frustrated, scared and confused before getting an idea.

 

What if they just ate? That might work!

  
  


He pulled out his phone; pulling up dominoes and his credit card his parents gave him- since they were usually out of state-- or even, country.

 

Two pizzas, pepperoni. Three orders of cheesy bread and a two liter of coca cola.

 

While he was on the phone; typing away the directions to knock lightly due to drunk friends, Tom slowly sat up; rubbing his forehead. Too much, too quick. So he fell back down; grumbling a string of hispanic curses.

 

Edd decided to clean up; sweeping and collecting trash. He didn’t know why he cleaned when he was stressed out, but it helped plenty.

The living room grew silent, Tom laying in a ball-- Matt trying to wash himself off with the filled sink of gunk, Tord puking once in awhile into the empty can that was continuously cleaned until his stomach settled down. Suddenly  there was a gentle, light knock on edd’s home door.

 

A man with middle parted hair and sharp eyebrows was balancing edd’s entire order in one hand; his nametag reading: Patryck.

 

“Uh, Edd Gold?” He questioned; holding up the receipt with his free hand.

 

Edd nodded and paused for a second.

 

Patryck.

 

That’s a familiar name, edd thought. He could swear he heard that name along with some rather, hateful words.

 

His mind was interrupted by Tord approaching Edd, confused on why the door was open. But the last thing he expected was his ex-best friend at the door.

  
  


“ _ Still _ with Dominoes huh?” Tord questioned darkly; going to reach for his own back pocket. But he was unarmed.

 

“I got promoted, i’m just doing my job. Why aren’t you at school?”

 

“Yeah well where’s the  _ new guy _ ?”

 

Edd just held out his arms to grab the food, carrying it in to settle it onto the living room table. Watching the two scramble to the pizza like ravenous animals. Ignoring Tord and Patryck by closing the front door behind the raging norsk.

 

There was just a while of eating. Tom just grabbed a slice; happily showing down, add as well until he began to hear to two men’s voices through the walls.

 

“No-- fuck you! I was there from the beginning. All you were was just a fucking loach!”

 

“A mooch Tord- NO THE FUCKING FISH YOU DIMWIT”

 

“How the hell would anyone know about some fish? Look, i’m just trying to do my job okay?”

 

There was silence, then a quiet thud against the wall.

 

“Huh, that’s one way to end a conversation” Tom mumbled, assuming that Tord ended the argument with force. But it caused Edd to get up immediately, clearly terrified for the poor delivery boy but as soon as he swung open his door he was frozen in shock to see what he did with his own eyes.

  
  


Tom couldn’t hear anything. Of course. But everything was still, Matt was shirtless and eating away next to Tom with little attention.

 

There was some hushed speaking until Edd returned; cheeks flushed from surprise and Tord just as red but with anger.

 

“What happened?” Matt questioned, raising a curious eyebrow.

 

“ _ Nothing _ ” Tord snapped, then looked over at Edd who just nodded.

 

“Well i need some kind of answer before i put your head through that fucking wall so what happened?” Tom threatened, clearly filled with rage and confusion.

 

_ Why the hell Edd wasn’t saying anything? _


End file.
